Renegade was forced from the room and Scratch placed a hand on my shoulder. “Son, I’m only going to say this once. That kid has never known a dad other than you. You’ve been with Nikki from the moment she knew she was pregnant, took her to her appointments, made sure she ate, took care of her the best you could. Doesn’t matter if that kid carries your DNA or not, he’s yours and he will always be yours. Unless you decide to walk away. But that’s not the Ashes we know. The man we know isn’t a quitter and doesn’t back down.”
His woman took his hand and moved closer to his side, looking at Oliver then me. “Scratch isn’t Caleb’s biological father, but he’s the only one that boy has ever known. And Caleb adores his daddy. When you look at Oliver, what do you see?” she asked.
“My son,” I said.
“Then that’s all you need to know,” Cinder said. “Whether your memory comes back or not, that boy will always be yours. You’ll be the one he watches, the one he learns from, the one he calls daddy.”
I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. I still needed to know… “And Nikki?” I asked, almost not recognizing my voice. “Did she…”
“She didn’t cheat on you,” Meg said. “You’ve known her a long time, but you didn’t start seeing each other until after she discovered she was pregnant. Although I suspect that you’ve had feelings for her longer than that.”
The weight on my chest eased at that knowledge. It would have torn me apart to think of her sleeping with someone else after she was mine. Hell, I didn’t like the thought of her being with another man even when she hadn’t been mine. I didn’t remember anyone but her. Still, I knew she hadn’t been my first. I’d been to the clubhouse enough times when the club girls were there to know that I’d been with at least a few of them, or at least they made it sound like I had been. I had no memory of them at all. I just hoped that I hadn’t cheated on my woman. I’d have to kick my own ass then.
“Whether your memory ever returns or not, those two are your family. It’s clear to anyone who sees you and Nikki together that you love her, and she’s over the moon for you,” Cinder said. “Don’t let her asshole brother make you feel like it’s all a lie. I’ll handle Renegade, and find out what’s crawled up his ass.”
“We’ll ask the others to give the three of you some time,” Cinder said, his gaze going to Nikki and Oliver.
I looked down and saw Nik was awake, and chewing her lower lip, worry clouding her eyes. Smoothing her hair back from her face, I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Renegade’s outburst had made me doubt her for a moment, doubt what we had, but they were right. She was mine. Oliver was mine. And that’s all that mattered.
The others left and I took Nikki’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “You missed your brother,” I said.
“What did he do?”
“Said that Oliver isn’t mine.”
Her face drained of all color. The hand still gripped in mine trembled. I could tell she was scared now that I knew the truth, but I didn’t understand why. It was obvious that I’d made her mine. She even had a property cut to prove it, even if I hadn’t seen her wear it. It was understandable since it probably didn’t fit very well while she was pregnant, but now that Oliver was here, she’d get to wear my name on her back, show the world she belonged to me.
“Scratch and Clarity said something before they left. Whether Oliver is mine by blood or not, he’s still my son. I love him, Nikki, just like I love you. Whether or not we share the same DNA doesn’t matter.”
Her breath hitched and her eyes filled with tears. “You love me?”
Shit. Had I never told her that? Maybe I was an asshole just like her brother. I didn’t like the idea of that, but why I hadn’t I told her sooner? The others were right. I loved her, even if I didn’t remember being with her before the incident at the warehouse. “Yeah, sweetheart. I love you. Both of you.”
I hugged her to me, making sure we didn’t squish Oliver. I didn’t know what the future would bring for us, but I did know that I saw Nikki by my side through it all. Maybe my memory would return one day, or maybe it wouldn’t. Sometimes I got flashes of what I think happened to me. I just hadn’t been able to piece it all together yet.
When those memories did return, I knew one thing. I wanted vengeance. Whoever had done this to me had stolen my life. Thankfully, Nikki was helping me remember things here and there, but we hadn’t been together forever, and she wouldn’t know club business. I hated having this large void in my head. Placing my trust in people I didn’t remember had been hard.
“You’re not mad I didn’t tell you?” she asked.
“No. I wish you would have, but it doesn’t matter. I’m sure the way I treated you when I first came home scared you. Just like I’m slowly learning to trust everyone at the compound again, you didn’t know if you could trust me anymore either. You had Oliver to think about, and I’d been an ass to you right off.”
She smiled a little. “Yeah, but you quickly made it up to me.”
“That I did.” I smiled, remembering how I’d asked her to join me in the shower, taken her against the wall not caring if anyone remained in the house who might hear. Once I’d known she was mine, that had been enough.
Whatever happened, whether my memories came back or not, I wasn’t going to let it hamper my life with Nikki and Oliver. They were my entire world, and I owed it to them to keep moving forward. We’d make new memories, just like we’d been doing the past two months, and I’d cherish each and every one.
I just needed to find a way to make peace with her brother. I knew it bothered Nikki when Renegade came after me. Why the idiot couldn’t see what he was doing to his sister left me confused. It was obvious he cared about her, so why hurt her the way he had been? It wasn’t something that would get resolved right now, but soon… We needed to sit down and talk. For now, I was going to enjoy the time I had with my woman and son. And I wouldn’t let anything ruin it.
Chapter Six
Ashes
The gray light of early morning streamed through the windows and I blinked in confusion, trying to figure out what woke me. I felt small hands pulling at my underwear and I glanced down the length of my body to find Nikki kneeling between my thighs. She was biting her lip and staring at my hard cock, clearly not aware I’d woken. What the hell was she doing? The doctor had warned us she shouldn’t have sex for at least six weeks, not until after her appointment, and it had only been three weeks since Oliver had been born.
“Nik, what are you up to?” I asked, my voice still husky with sleep.
I loved my son, but damn… that boy woke up every two hours wanting to eat. Nikki and I were both exhausted, her more so than me. Even when I got up to get our son, it wasn’t like I could feed him, so I’d still have to wake her. There were dark smudges under her eyes, but she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
She flashed me a smile, then leaned down and licked the length of my cock, making me hiss in a breath as my hips bucked. Jesus! She was trying to fucking kill me. I reached down, intent on pulling her away. As much as I loved having her mouth on me, it wasn’t necessary. I might have once been the kind of guy to get off and not care about the woman, but with Nikki things were different. Before I could stop her, she’d taken at least half my dick into her mouth and used her hand to stroke the rest.