Be ready…
Yet… I allowed Xander Cage to fool me.
Was it his charm?
No…
It wasn’t charm.
It was him…
Men tried to charm me out of my dignity all the time. They saw me and saw the outside, became fascinated with the exterior of me. They liked how I looked.
Platinum blond hair and big tits. That was how one asshole described me.
It was true though. That was how I looked.
Xander, however, seemed to look past that and saw me, the person I was inside. Me the artist who wanted to show the world her imagination, me the girl who was aching to pursue her dreams, me the woman who was trapped in the darkness of the underworld with a monster for a father.
That was why I liked him, it was that part.
But it was a lie.
I stood before him, hands steady on the gun I held on him, steady and trying my very best not to falter. It felt wrong to be pointing the gun at him… it felt so wrong. The lie though made it right.
He wasn’t who he’d said he was, he said so himself.
I’d learned a lot in the last few hours.
Heard too much.
Heard far too much.
The kind of stuff I could get killed for.
He was some kind of official. That was what I’d worked out. Maybe a cop. That was my first thought as I heard him discussing plans with his people.
That was what happened earlier. It happened just over an hour ago. Although it felt like a dream. Or, actually, it was more of a nightmare. Like it wasn’t quite real at all because it got me here to this point where instead of being happy to see him, I was holding a gun at him.
I went to him last night to say goodbye. I slept with him and believed his promises. I believed he really cared about me.
Then I’d fallen asleep.
I could laugh… sleep was always the thing that took him away from me. Always. This time was the worst.
I fell asleep and woke up when I heard him on the phone telling someone he wasn’t who he was. He left his apartment and I followed him to the warehouse facility and heard him talking to his people.
The man with the eye patch—Ethan— reminded him he’d have to kill. They were talking about me. His superior or whoever that guy was, laid down the law reminding him who I was.
Xander answered and said he’d do what he had to do.
Meaning he’d kill me if he had to. I wasn’t stupid. What else could his answer mean?
Nobody told me this… I heard it and saw it all for myself.
That was the thing that hurt the most. I saw and heard it all for myself.
Hard truth again.
“Jia, why are you pointing a gun at me?” he asked. His gaze was fixed on mine. I’d noticed how he hadn’t looked away from me since he saw the gun.
He’d kept his eyes trained on me the whole time as silent tension gripped us.
“Who are you?” I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice. It was near impossible since I’d been crying. I’d come home crying and hadn’t stopped.
“You know who I am.”
“I know who you want people to think you are. But you are not that.” Maybe it was foolish to let him know I knew he was playing some game. Maybe it was crazy and I should pretend I didn’t know. It would be wiser, but this was my choice. I figured if anything happened, Frankie was just outside.
I had a panic alarm Pa gave me. If I pressed the button Frankie would come here first and the other knights would follow, coming from wherever they were.
Although, since I was pointing the gun at Xander, I might not need help.
One shot was all it would take. Pa taught me how to use a gun and he’d told me to aim for the head.
One shot to the head between the eyes.
The thought made more tears spill down my cheeks.
I couldn’t believe those were my thoughts.
I couldn’t believe I was thinking of shooting Xander and killing him.
Xander…
How did I get here? How did we get here?
Just yesterday I was thinking I was in love with him. I’d thought of nice the sentiment was. Me in love. I felt it and acknowledged the emotion for what it was.
I must have gotten it wrong though. He’d fooled me. What I must have felt had to be something I created. All me. I was the fool again for allowing myself to feel for him.
A man I’d barely known.
We’d only known each other for weeks. That was all. Not long enough, yet he had me at hello.
I steadied my breathing and tried to focus. I needed to cut the shit and stop crying. Stop this weakness and find strength.
“I heard you.” I spoke on the edge of a whisper, but loud enough for him to hear me. “I heard you on the phone talking to someone. I heard… everything you said. So and I followed you to that place where you met your… people.”
The minute I said that realization dawned on his handsome face. The next few seconds that passed felt like eons. Eons of silence drifting in the space between us. Prolonging my anxiety and desire to know what the hell was going on.
“And?” Was all he said after the agonizing nothingness.
It infuriated me to no end. “And? Really, that’s what you ask me? And?”
“And… what are you going to do?”
I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. What was I going to do indeed?
“I’m the one asking questions here.” I stood a little straighter. “I’m the one who wants answers. I want the truth. I told you the other week that I hate liars. You tell me the damn truth, Xander. So, I’ll ask again. Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m Xander Cage,” he answered, eyes tightening at the corners as he narrowed his gaze at me.
I scowled. “That’s your real name?”
“That is my real name.”
Fine. Maybe it was. That was low on the list of priorities and insignificant.
Xander Cage might be his name, but what was he? Maybe that was the right question to ask.
A cop.
Maybe that was it. Cops and the feds were always trying to investigate Pa.
“Are you a cop, or fed?”
“No.”
Not that… so what was he?
“What are you?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
There… I was on the right track. I was inclined to believe he was lying until he said that. The question wasn’t who he was, it was what he was. That was the key here. What.
“Why not? Why can’t you tell me?”
“I just can’t.”
“You’ve come for my father? Is that what you’re doing? That guy said there was a mission. The man with the eye patch, Ethan. He said something about a mission.”
“Yes.”
So, who did I know that did missions? Xander was an ex-marine. Or was he? Maybe he wasn’t an ex. Or, maybe he was something else.
“An agent…” I surmised and when the blue of his eyes clouded I knew I was totally on to something. What was worse was I knew that if I was right then Pa was up to something really, really bad. Worse than his usual stuff and it explained everything.
His behavior, the shootout, the freak out behavior he’d had over the last few weeks.
Funny how it all coincided with Xander’s arrival. Still, Xander came on the scene when Pa’s knights were killed weeks ago. I’d be willing to bet that was the perfect opening for him to step into our lives.