“You can have my other leg if you’ll stay and make breakfast now and then,” he said and he wasn’t joking. Casper thought he’d be bitter and riddled with regret when he woke up without his leg but he felt lighter and oddly optimistic as the sun filled the room with a rosy glow.
“We might be able to work something out but I’d rather you kept it, if that’s alright with you,” Hawk replied as he sat cross-legged with his plate then saluted Casper with his coffee. A loopy smile tugged at Casper’s lips but it wasn’t just the drugs and Hawk’s cinnamon rolls.
“I think that would be alright.”
Chapter 16
“Damn it!”
Hawk heard the strangled curse and he was immediately alert. It came from the lab and Hawk shook his head at Casper’s empty bed as he got up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stumbled down the hall.
“Fuck!” It was another exasperated whimper. Hawk stuck his head in the lab and was immediately worried as Casper held onto the corner of the counter and strained to reach a stack of notebooks that had fallen off. He was pale and his hair clung to his brow and Hawk’s t-shirt was nearly transparent with sweat.
“What are you doing?” Hawk complained as he hurried to get the notebooks for Casper. Hawk jogged around the counter and squatted and Casper’s eye was bloodshot and his cheek was streaked with tears.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Casper said quietly and thanked Hawk as he held up the notebooks. Casper’s hand shook as he took them and Hawk groaned as he stood.
“It’s hurting you, isn’t it?” Hawk asked but Casper just raised a shoulder and added the books to a stack by the lamp. “It’s been almost two weeks; I was worried we’d see some phantom pain and was afraid it would be bad.”
“Well! Aren’t you...” Casper yelled as he turned but he stopped and squeezed his eye shut. “I tend to be even more unpleasant than usual when I’m in this kind of pain but I’ll survive. You should go back to bed,” he rasped calmly and offered Hawk a strained but weary smile. He looked like he was ready to faint and Hawk wondered how long Casper had been hiding it.
“I’ll be right back,” Hawk said and pointed for Casper to wait as he backed away, then turned and bolted from the room. Hawk quickly considered what was on hand and the drugs in his bag. He had a plan by the time he found a vial of ketamine and quickly calculated and drew the right dose. He doused some gauze in alcohol then ran from the room and back into the lab.
“What is that?” Casper asked when Hawk grabbed his wrist and pulled so he could clean the inside of his elbow.
“Just a little K to help you relax. Phantom limb pain is neuropathic. The gabapentin helps but phantom pain is a little like restless leg syndrome because it can be worse at night,” he explained as he tossed the syringe at the waste basket. Casper hummed but it was still strained.
“That’s pretty...” He shook his head and tried to pull away. “But it still hurts,” he said and Hawk nodded as he wrapped his arm around Casper’s middle and bent to lift him. “Stop!” Casper protested and Hawk glared hard.
“I’m not finished,” he said and sidestepped through the door and into the hall and carried Casper into the bathroom. “Take off your t-shirt,” he ordered as he set Casper on the counter and went to start the water in the tub. He made sure it was good and hot and watched until the tub was about a quarter full then turned back to Casper. He’d taken off the shirt but he hugged it against his chest and was wary as Hawk approached.
“What are you doing?” He asked but Hawk wasn’t giving him a chance to fight. He snatched Casper off the counter and hurried across the bathroom with him.
“We’re going in,” Hawk warned as he stepped into the tub.
“What?!” Casper grabbed the shower rod and Hawk slapped his hand hard so he’d let go. He let Casper’s foot touch the floor of the tub just long enough for him to sit down and Hawk gave his arm a hard tug. Casper shouted as he slipped but Hawk caught him and supported him as they fell back until they were reclining in the tub.
“Just relax!” Hawk barked sharply and Casper jumped but he became still as hot water lapped at his navel and steam plumed around them. Casper’s chest heaved as he panted and his head swung while his eye darted around the bathroom. Hawk crooned softly in his ear as one hand spread over Casper’s chest and the other worked between them. Hawk used his thumb to knead the muscles of Casper’s lower back around the base of his spine and murmured soothingly. “How long has it been this bad?” He whispered and Casper grunted and arched as Hawk’s knuckle dug into a particularly tight spot.
“It started a few nights ago,” he admitted through clenched teeth then jumped and melted. “Oh... That’s better,” he sighed as he relaxed and Hawk chuckled.
“I think the K kicked in and the hot water’s working, now that you stopped fighting,” he scolded gently. “You were supposed to communicate with me so we could stay on top of this.”
“I didn’t think there was anything to be done for phantom limb pain and I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You won’t bother me, silly. I’m here to help with the pain and give you a new leg,” he reminded him. Casper made a drowsy, relieved sound and became limp as his head fell back. His cheek rested against Hawk’s and the tub turned into torture. Casper sighed and Hawk’s eyes followed the water as it spilled down his chest. Their boxers were soaked and Casper’s were transparent as they clung to his semi hard cock. Hawk shut his eyes and did his best to distance himself from the tub and recalibrated Casper’s medications to help him cope with the increased neuropathic pain. Casper hummed softly as he stretched the leg with the stump and Hawk bit into his lip hard as his erection was wedged between the firm, round globes of Casper’s ass. Casper stilled and cleared his throat.
“Ummm... Hawk?”
“Just ignore that, please,” he ground out and Casper nodded jerkily. Hawk slid his arm out from between them and wrapped it around Casper. He shushed soothingly as he wiped the damp strands of hair away from Casper’s face. “I’m here to help with the pain and give you a new leg,” Hawk whispered, mostly to remind himself.
Chapter 17
He’s going to laugh in your fucking face.
Casper looked over his shoulder and told all the screams and whispers to go away. He knew they’d fall silent and be just as enthralled, once he was close to Hawk again. This time, he wouldn’t lose his nerve. Casper took a deep breath and squeezed the scalpel in his hand before raising it and slicing through his brow.
“Fuck!” He yelped and hissed as a bright white burn seared his senses and his vision. He pulled a deep breath through his nose and thrilled at the flaring of his nerves and the way the slice in his eyebrow howled and stung.
“Everything alright?” Hawk called from the bedroom and Casper’s head whipped back around.
“No need to get up,” Casper yelled back then tossed the scalpel at the table. He turned on the stool and reached for the crutch as he hopped off and swung toward the door. It was just a few big strides across the hall and Casper fell against the bedroom door. “I could use a hand, if you wouldn’t mind,” he said and Hawk hummed as he finished whatever he was reading.