“No, we’re not.”
“No, we probably won’t,” Hawk murmured as he opened it and touched the top of one of the cakes. It sprang back and he cheered quietly as he checked the other. They were both ready and he was giddy as he took them out. He didn’t really want Casper to change. That much. He suspected that Casper wanted to let more people in but used his “abrasive” personality as a shield. “That’s one word for it.” Personalities? Hawk wondered but he’d let Ezra decide if they should be concerned. So far, Casper’s head full of snakes had served him well. Hawk thought it was possible that they were another coping mechanism that Casper seemed to need less and less, the more time they spent together.
Hawk kind of liked the idea of being the whisperer and the antidote to the darker voices in Casper’s head. And he loved the rush. It was a little masochistic of Hawk but Casper was a bit of a sadist. A bit. Hawk snorted internally as he opened the fridge and stuck his pinkie in the frosting. Should be perfect by the time the cakes have cooled. He looked to the stairs and got excited. He’d leave the delivery for tomorrow so he could finish Casper’s surprise before dinner.
The sofa looked like a good place to read, against the wall, under the window. It would be nice to watch the woods at night when it snowed. Hawk moved one of the armchairs to the corner by the fireplace and the other chair was in the kitchen. It was next to the window and Casper could see the lake. The large enamel stove would keep the kitchen warm and Casper could talk to Hawk as he cooked and baked for him. There was a ripple of doubt and Hawk worried that he was assuming too much or setting himself up for disappointment. Did Casper want Hawk to stay? They still had months of work ahead of them and winter was just around the corner but what about spring? Casper wouldn’t need Hawk forever and it was still Blink’s cottage.
“He might not want to settle down,” Hawk said and chuckled wryly. “Is he even capable?” Casper preferred to live in a van and rocket back and forth across the country from target to target. Blink tempted Casper to Blackhurst with the cottage and a lab to keep him in arm’s reach and to keep a closer eye on him. But a live-in... Boyfriend? A laugh burst from Hawk and he clapped his hand over his mouth. How could Casper have a boyfriend? It was so ordinary and stable. But Hawk wanted to be Casper’s boyfriend. And more. Whatever that included.
He’s really into you and the sex is insane. He definitely appreciates all the food and he’s got a fearsome sweet tooth. The odds were looking better by the day and Hawk had all of winter to show Casper that there were a lot of benefits to settling down.
“I guess I had to lose my mind to find peace and happiness,” Hawk realized. “With Casper,” he added and needed the chair by the fire for support as he doubled over with laughter.
Chapter 19
“Is it creepy?” Casper wondered as he set down the soldering iron. He was having second thoughts, now that it was finished. What’s creepy about giving someone a piece of your body? “Many things, possibly,” he assumed. After the amputation, Casper stored his leg in the freezer by his desk. Casper found one small portion of perfect tibia and cut a cross section. He carved and polished it into a perfect C and it was like ivory, it was so smooth and clean. Casper set it in a metal frame and surrounded it with shards of broken beakers, test tubes and Petri dishes. It looked like stained glass, in shades of scorched and crackled grays.
“Are you ready to go downstairs?” Hawk asked as he tapped at the door and Casper slid the ornament under his notebook.
“I’m finished with work for the evening,” he said as he turned on his stool. Hawk grinned as he rested his shoulder against the door and Casper couldn’t breathe for a moment; he was so hopelessly in love. Loser.
“Great. Dinner’s ready and I have a surprise for you!” Hawk sang and pushed away from the door but Casper held out a hand.
“Wait.” He turned back to his notebook and slipped the ornament into a lidded tin and snapped it shut. Casper turned and signaled for Hawk to continue. “What’s this surprise?” He asked and Hawk shook his head as he scooped Casper up so they were chest-to-chest.
“You can wait until we get downstairs,” Hawk scolded. Casper hooked his leg around Hawk’s hip and pulled himself up higher and slid an arm around his neck.
“Whatever it is, it smells amazing and it’s been torture, waiting for you to come and get me.” Casper rubbed his nose in Hawk’s hair and sniffed loudly.
“I can’t see the stairs!” Hawk laughed and pushed Casper’s face away. He reached the bottom and turned into the living room and Casper frowned. The furniture was rearranged to make room for a very large, long, flat box. It didn’t look like anything that concerned Casper so his head swung to the kitchen and he gasped as Hawk set him down. The small table they never used was pushed to the corner to make room for one of the armchairs. The table was topped with a lamp and a book and a tea cup was waiting. “We eat at the counter or in bed and I thought it might be nice to have company while I’m cooking,” Hawk explained and gave Casper his hand so he could hop to the armrest and lower into the seat.
“I think this will work,” Casper decided as he wiggled his shoulders and got comfortable. “I like this surprise,” he said but Hawk shook his head.
“This isn’t it. You’ll have to wait until after dinner,” he said silkily and wiggled his brows at Casper before he spun and went to check the oven. He opened it and Casper’s stomach growled as a heavenly aroma wafted through the little kitchen. It taunted him all afternoon and into the evening and Casper was ready to eat the arm off his chair.
“It smells incredible,” he sighed and his eyes followed Hawk as he carried a cast iron dish to the counter.
“My nonna’s veal parmigiana. And garlic bread!” Hawk whispered excitedly as he rushed back to the oven and pulled out a foil-wrapped loaf. Casper couldn’t imagine anyone or anything being more perfect. This has to be a trap. Why else would the perfect man walk right into Casper’s life with sex and breakfast and garlic bread? He could be insane, someone pointed out and hope swelled in Casper’s chest.
“Nobody’s that perfect,” Casper pointed out and shook his head as he beamed up at Hawk when he turned and raised a brow at him.
“Were you talking to me or...?”
“Don’t mind them,” Casper said with a wave. “I can’t wait.”
“Give me just another minute,” Hawk said as he held up a finger and rushed to the other counter. He tapped at his phone’s screen then snatched a bottle of wine and an opener. “You can have half a glass, since we’re celebrating.” He winked and wrenched the cork out, sending Casper’s stomach somersaulting again. Remember when we killed people with cool things like neurotoxins? I liked us better then.
“I don’t care. When do I find out what we’re celebrating?” Casper asked as Hawk poured. The soft patter of a drum had Casper’s eye darting around and he got chills as something soulful and moody drifted from the speakers in the ceiling.
“Just go with it for a little longer,” Hawk said and Casper was distracted as he leaned across the counter with their glasses. Hawk plated their food then turned to offer Casper his hand. He pulled him to his feet and Casper caught Hawk’s cheek and kissed him before he had a chance to chicken out.