“Are you sure this is okay? If you don’t want me here—”
“If you would’ve asked me that an hour ago, I would have said no.” I exhaled and willed myself to look him in the eyes. “The truth is, I was pissed at June for inviting you. But I think her motivations were right.”
“Her motivations?” he asked, leaning in over the table.
“She wants us to rip off the Band-Aid. It’s like you said in your email…” My face heated and I stared at my hand on the table. “I think we both need it, a chance to start over.”
Jax reached across the table, and on instinct I wanted to pull away. He hesitated, and I wondered if he’d sensed the overwhelming fear swallowing me whole. Maybe he was sinking, too. When I didn’t move my hand to my lap, he brushed the back of his finger against my skin. An electric pulse ran up my arm as he exhaled a shaky breath.
“Does that mean… you’re gonna give me a second chance?”
There was a lot of shit we had to get over, a mountain of time we had to sift through. But he had changed. His eyes were softer than I remembered, his skin worn by the sun. It suited him. His demeanor was quiet, the confident kid I knew at Eastchester was gone. I didn’t know this man sitting in front of me, with his heart on his sleeve, but he was just as beautiful, if not more than the boy I’d once known. As much as it scared me, I wanted to know this man. The man who couldn’t bear to leave his mother and disabled brother behind. The man who sacrificed himself day in and day out. The man I’d thought I couldn’t forgive. I hadn’t understood. Not until he was here, in front of me, on the verge of breaking down right alongside me.
I linked my finger around his thumb, memorizing the new and unfamiliar roughness of his skin. “I think it does.”
JAX
Wild’s skin was as soft as I remembered. The heat from his touch spread up my arm, and I liked the way his finger curled around my thumb. I hoped he meant it when he’d said he’d give me a second chance. I lifted my gaze and found him watching me. Wild’s brown eyes were dark in the low light, ringed with black eyeliner. The red shirt he had on was see-through, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring. He had more muscle now but was still lean with long arms and a delicate neck I used to love to kiss. The smooth skin of his chest was visible, pale with perfect nipples. My throat went dry as all the memories of us surfaced. Wild sweaty beneath me, those nipples under my tongue.
Shit.
I forced myself to turn away, my cheeks hot as my gaze landed on two guys dry humping in the corner. What the hell? I scanned the room, taking it in for the first time. The dance floor was filled with couples, mostly men, grinding on each other and kissing. The few women I saw were dancing close too, hands on hips, eyes locked. I noticed a small rainbow-colored flag hanging above the exit door and I started to sweat.
“You look nervous,” Wild said, pulling me back from my impending anxiety attack.
“This is a gay club?”
He slid into the chair next to me, lacing our hands together. Leaning in, he said, “Aww, is this your first time, Precious?”
I laughed, trying not to let the fear win. Hearing him call me Precious in his over-the-top southern accent made me smile. “Not too many gay bars in Bell River.”
I had no reason to freak out being this far from home. Hudson and Jim were in Marietta, and even if they did come to Atlanta, I seriously doubted they’d be in this particular club.
“By not too many, I’m assuming you mean none?” he asked.
“I don’t think there’s a gay bar within fifty miles of Bell River, if you want the truth.”
“That’s a shame.”
Looking out into the club, I was envious. What would my life be like if I lived in a place that was more open-minded? Filled with acceptance instead of hate.
“Don’t let it spook you,” he said, and I met his eyes.
“I’m here, Wild, I’m not going nowhere.”
He let go of my hand and swallowed. “Last time you said that, you disappeared for nine years.”
“I can’t go back, but if I could I’d change what I did. I want to try again, Wild. I want that second chance.” He averted his gaze to the bar. “Hey...” He wouldn’t look at me, and my heart sank heavy in my chest. I had no right to, but I placed my thumb and finger under his chin, turning him toward me. He kept his head down, his long, black lashes hiding his eyes. “Wild, I’ve never stopped loving you.”
He lifted his head, his eyes threatening to spill over with tears.
“I want you to trust me again,” I said and took his hand in mine.
“I have a hard time trusting you… but I want to,” he said. “I want to, Jax, but I might trip up sometimes. When you left… I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was in a bad place. It’s not easy to file all of that away.”
“I know, but—”
He chuckled. “Let me finish what I want to say.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Go ahead.”
He bit his bottom lip, taking a few seconds to regather his thoughts.
“You’ve changed. And I can see that your life has reshaped you, and I want to know how. I want to know you now, Jax. I can’t expect you to feel sorry for everything all the time. We’ll never move forward if you’re always feeling bad for what happened. But I can’t promise I won’t take a few steps backward every now and then.”
The tension in my shoulders relaxed. He wanted this. He wanted me.
“I can handle a few steps,” I said.
Wild trailed his thumb along my finger and I shivered. With the heat of his hand in mine, I was home.
“You two look cozy,” June said with a smirk.
I expected Wild to pull away, but he leaned in, resting his shoulder against me. “Are you jealous?” he asked, and June laughed.
“Not even a little a bit.”
A pretty girl with the curliest red hair I’d ever seen placed a bottle of beer in front of me. “I’m Gwen, June’s girlfriend. Nice to meet you.”
I shouldn’t drink with work tomorrow, and the thirty-minute drive home, but I didn’t want to piss off Wilder’s friends. I’d make a bet they held some type of veto card where I was concerned, and they were still collecting evidence. One beer wouldn’t put me over the limit, or give me a buzz, for that matter.
I held up the bottle. “Jax… nice to meet you, too. And thanks for the beer.”
She watched me as I took a swig. “So, you’re the guy who broke our baby’s heart?”
Caught off guard by her remark, I inhaled the beer and started coughing.
“I told her to be nice.” June laughed.
Wilder narrowed his eyes at his best friend as he sipped from the glass of water Gwen had brought him. “I doubt that,” he said.
“I’m not being mean. I’m simply stating a fact. And I hope he’s here to set it right,” she said. “You are… gonna set it right, aren’t you?”
“I sure hope so.”
“Good.”
Wilder’s laugh almost sounded like a nervous giggle and it made me smile.
“You’re kind of scary when you want to be, Gwen,” he said.