“Kenni I don’t like that woman, I’m sorry if she’s a good friend of yours but I guarantee you now I won’t be going on any double date with her.” I can’t really tell him my suspicions about her wanting him through fear of looking like a bunny boiler.
“She’s harmless.” I don’t buy it, she has crazy bitch written all over her.
“What did she actually want?”
“It’s her brothers 30th birthday coming up and she is doing him a surprise party, she wanted my input on it.” Well that sounds innocent enough.
“And that took half an hour to discuss behind a closed door?”
“Babe seriously you’ve got this all wrong, she’s my mates sister that’s all.”
“If I locked myself in your office for 3o minutes with another man and told you we were just talking, what would you do?” His face goes tight and becomes strained, his jaw ticks and he narrows his eyes in on me.
“I would kill him, I get your point but your all I see sweetheart, you think after all the time it took you to come back to me that I would risk losing my family, I’m fully aware how much of a flight risk you are.” I draw back from him and shake my head. I know he regrets it as soon as he said it but the damage has been done now,
“That was a fucking low blow, I can’t believe you even went there.” I throw on my dressing gown and walk out the door, closely followed by Kenni, storming down the stairs I go into the lounge where the play pen/ travel cot is and begin to collapse it, Kenni is eyeing me wearily not quite sure what is happening, once its collapsed I pick it up and push past him, heading up the stairs I open the boys room and open the travel cot up, I see Kenni standing in the doorway and go to walk through it.
“Move please.” I manage to whisper, whilst clenching my teeth together. He obliges and I walk into our room. Delicately picking Betsy up I place her in one arm and grab her bedding with the other hand. Walking up to Kenni I shake my head at him before I gather myself and calm down enough to speak to him.
“If you hadn’t already gathered I’m spending the night somewhere where you aren’t.” He crosses both his arms across his chest and breaths out heavily through his nose.
“I’m sorry darlin I didn’t mean to say it, you promised me we’d never go to bed on an argument, do you remember?” Well now he has to throw that in my face as well.
“You know what Kenni, fuck you.” He flinches and I take the opportunity to walk past him, hastily rustle up a makeshift bed for Betsy, before jumping in behind Junior, I hear the door open to the boys room and can feel him staring in for a couple of minutes before the door closes and I’m left alone with my thoughts.
It’s officially the longest night of my life, typically Betsy only disturbs once, I can’t get comfortable in the small bed and I miss Kenni’s arms around me.
I get up early and get clothes ready for them all to go to nursery, today is going to be there normal day when all three of them go so I just kept it for this week only, I need to get away for a bit and I’m thinking I’m going to hit the credit card today.
I hear movement next door, all the kids are still sleeping so I head in to get clothes for myself and Betsy and toiletries, I ignore Kenni the whole time and then walk out again, checking on the kids again they are still sleeping so I quickly shower and get ready.
I wake the boys and bath them in the guest bathroom, whilst they are splashing around I manage to feed Betsy and quickly bath her while they continue to play, I dress her as well before getting the boys out. They head across the landing covered in towels. Betsy is happy playing with some soft toys whilst they get dressed.
Once I’d sorted the bathroom out and tidied their bedroom I headed downstairs with all the kids, the boys said good morning to everyone whilst I strapped Betsy in her car chair, I called for the boys to come to me, which they did, we headed out the door and I pocketed Kenni’s keys on the way through.
“Where are you going this early Luci?” Kenni has walked out followed by Annett and Emmett, the look of concern and panic on all of their faces guts me, obviously I still have a long way to before I prove to them that I’m not going anywhere. I look past him and speak to Annett.
“Me and the boys are going to have breakfast at the diner this morning, I’m sorry if you have gone to much trouble.”
“That’s ok darlin, I’ll see you later.” Kenni’s parents both head in and I proceed to strap the kids in.
“Luci, darlin talk to me.” I don’t because I know I’ll say something I’ll regret, once all the kids are all safely belted up I jump in the driver’s side and start the truck. He walks up to the window and taps on it, I push the button for it to go down and we are in a silent standoff.
“Don’t wait in for me.” I put the car in drive release the handbrake and then put my foot down, leaving him stood there once again knowing I’m leaving.
Breakfast on my own with three kids in a diner was probably not my brightest idea, we got through it without too much trauma and I drop all three of them off at nursery.
One of the mums from yesterday stops me again today enquiring about a play date, she has a little boy around twins age and another boy a couple of months older than Betsy, whilst I stand their listening to her, all I see is a lonely mum wanting some company and I know instantly I’ve found my first “mum” friend.
I take her name which is Jessica and number and promise to arrange something in the meantime I ask her if she wants to join me for a coffee now, her eyes sparkle brightly, and she accepts.
We find a nice coffee shop and we talk about our lives, she tells me her husband is one of the local police deputy’s and is actually a friend of Kenni’s. I talk about my reasons for leaving Kenni originally and about my time at home, she never really gave me an opinion she just listened and I realised that I needed that more than anything, I’d come to terms with my decisions and in the end I was ok with them now.
Jessica ends up coming shopping with me all morning and I persuade her to treat herself a little bit, I can see that she is not very confident, she buys a couple of things but mainly advises me, I notice her keep looking at a black sparkly dress.
It’s obvious she wants it but clearly won’t allow herself to have it when she’s not looking I sneak it to the bottom of my pile, she’s already pulled her size out and left it at the front of the rail. What’s the point of having money if you can’t treat your friends? I knew from that day that we would be friends.
I talked her into having lunch with me, she had already brightened up from this morning and I realise she’d kept my mind of my argument with Kenni. Once lunch was over with I looked at the time and realised there was only a couple of hours before the kids needed picking up.
I told Jessica there wasn’t much point going home now, she smiled at me and agreed. We walked around town together and she showed me places of interest.
We collected the kids together, I told her I was going to the park for a bit if she wanted to join me, her little boy made the decision for her and we all walked down the road to the park calling in for ice cream on the way.
She finally left about an hour later, Betsy was sleeping in her pushchair and the twins were still happily playing, I retrieved my phone out of my bag, I had had it on silent all day, I wasn’t surprised to see over twenty missed calls, mainly from Kenni, but a couple from Annett and Annabelle. I sent a basic text back to all three of them.