Tom, well, I can’t make myself not love him. I also can’t stop the way it hurt when he threw my declaration in my face. So I hadn’t said it with the intention of him hearing it, so what? You’re not supposed to fall in love with these guys, I have no claim on them. It’s pretty much in the rules, without being spelled out. So, of course I said it when I thought he was asleep, and I’m not ashamed to admit it was also because I was scared of rejection.
If only this family wasn’t so powerful, maybe they wouldn’t fight with one another so damn much. Although, there seems to be so much history between them. Brother against brother. Friends on the outs because of a girl, and now because of me, maybe that rift has only grown even more irreparable.
It really was easier when Tucker declared that no one else could have me, and I was far from miserable. Then again, I’ve never been drawn to an easy life, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to more than one guy. They each call to a different part of me, but is that good? What if I change for the worst again? What if it all goes to my head and this time, there’ll be no coming back from it?
The door opens, but I’m barely paying any attention, too wrapped up in my own mind. Maybe I feel safe, knowing that I’m not in the Academy gives me a sense of security I don’t usually have. Like nothing can go wrong. It’s a nice thought, such a nice…
I blink my eyes open, but it’s dark and hard to make anything out. Although, whatever I’m on is comfy, it feels as though it’s moving.
I groan as I sit up, rubbing at my eyes before I drop my hands down to my lap.
“Oh, fuck.”
Shit, I said that one out loud.
So what? I think I’m beyond manners right now, I’m on a Goddamn raft. Why am I on a raft? There aren’t any paddles or any way to control it, and I’m heading towards the rapids. I don’t know if I should leap out, but what if I don’t hit the bank? No, I can’t just sit in here. No matter the risk, it will be safer to jump then tackle the rapids without a jacket or a guide.
I rest one hand on the edge before rolling onto my knees. I propel myself forward, or I try to at least. The moment I leap, I’m pulled back and I stare down at my feet. One of my boots has been tied to the cord lining the side of the raft, well, that explains why I couldn’t jump out. All I’ve got to do is take my boots off and I’m good to go, it’s just a little setback, that’s it.
It’s a lot harder than usual to remove my boots, but that’s probably because I'm panicking and my hands are shaking. I finally manage to free myself but the moment I get up, I fall straight back down as the raft makes contact with the first rapid.
Wave after wave hits, and it feels choppier now than it did when the instructor brought us out as a group. Shit!
Do I still try to jump? Yeah, I think I will. I do not want to risk this. I’m already soaked, and fuck! The front of the raft lifts up and I throw myself forward to try and weigh it down, I can’t stay in here. I’m scared and I don’t want to die by drowning. Not that I have a preference, but still.
I grip a hold of the handle on the side, brace for the next hit before I leap over the side. My knees hit the bank, but it’s too damp to gain any traction as I slip and fall forward. My head hits the ground, and my bottom half hits the water and I once again lose consciousness.
“Daddy, up,” I clap my hands at him and he smiles down at me as he scoops me up and holds me close.
“There’s my little princess, just as pretty as your mommy,” he says as he drops kiss after kiss on my cheek. I can’t stop giggling and it makes him do it more.
“My daddy,” I say softly as I wrap my arms around his neck.
“There you are. Don’t I get a hello?” Mommy says with a laugh, and he places me down gently before swinging her around in his arms.
“I could never forget about you, I just wish I didn’t have to leave,” he says, which makes mommy look at the floor.
“Not now, babe. We’ll talk about this later, okay? Besides, your brother will be here soon and you know he’s itching to show us the ultrasound photo,” mommy says and daddy nods before setting her back down on her feet, then disappearing through the door, and everything fades to black.
It changes until I’m me, only I’m standing at the altar of a church surrounded by Harkwrights. There are two faceless girls standing either side of me with Tucker opposite me and Tom and Aeron beside him. Emmet is standing off to the side with his father, Shane, and Maddox.
I have no idea what is going on, but if this is a dream, then I guess it could be worse. Am I getting married? Is it to Tucker? I look down at my dress to see a bright, hot pink number that threatens to burn my eyes. It’s hideous and I want to vomit. It’s all ruffles and the sleeves bunch up on my shoulders and come out a few inches.
The wedding march sounds and everyone stands up as I look over to the front of the church to see Rachel walking towards us, with Belle holding her train. She has a smile on her face, like the cat that got the cream. I guess she did, seeing as this is her wedding.
She takes her place beside me and her elbow jabs into my side, knocking the wind out of me. The priest starts speaking but my ears are ringing and I can’t hear a damn word as they continue to speak.
“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Everyone turns to look at me. My mouth opens and the words are on the tip of my tongue, but nothing is coming out. What am I supposed to say? Can I say anything?
Tucker shakes his head and gives me a look of utter distaste, as the ceremony continues and it isn’t long before the victor says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
Tucker steps closer to Rachel but turns to me as he grips her face.
“This is all your fault, Luna. You could have stopped this. Will you ever stop being such a fucking coward? You sicken me.” He spits at my feet before he kisses her and my heart shatters into a million pieces.
The scene changes again and I look down at my hands. I’m relieved to see that I’m no longer on the river bank. Someone must have found me and brought me back home. So, why am I on the floor? I look to the side and a scream lodges in my throat as I take in Selene lying on the floor across from me, or at least she has Selene’s hair and eyes. But the more I look, the more I realize. I’m not looking at my birth mom, I’m looking at me.
Wake up, wake up, wake the fuck up! Why am I not awake? I don’t want to keep looking at my lifeless face anymore. But every time I turn away, the body moves until it’s lying in front of me once more. That is until a pair of feet stand before me. I look up into Emmet’s eyes, then Tucker appears beside him, followed by Tom, and then Aeron.
“Help me, please,” I beg as I reach for them but they take a step back, before they part and let Sir and Thallon come forward.
Sir stares at me as though he’s the big bad wolf and I’m the little girl in the red hood, whereas Thallon looks as though he just wants to shatter me and count up the pieces I leave behind.
“Don’t be scared, Luna. You’re right where you were always supposed to be. With me.” Sir reaches out and seizes my wrist before he pulls me up and I slam into his chest. My scream falls free and my guys look on. Staring at me as though they’ve done everything they possibly could and now they are faced with the inevitable. I’m about to be destroyed, and there is nothing they can do to help.