Was he ready to let me be his Daddy while we were both trapped in the cabin?
Just a quick peek out the window earlier had shown neither of us were going anywhere anytime soon, but I didn’t want him to feel like he was backed into a corner. It was time to stop talking around it and actually address it head-on. “I would be honored to be your Daddy while we’re staying together so you can get a taste of how it would feel to have that kind of relationship, but I don’t want you to think you have to. If all you want to do is talk and ask questions, that’s fine. This is up to you and I don’t want to pressure you.”
He was quiet for several long seconds, but there was no tension in him and he didn’t seem stressed. His fingers kept stroking my arm as he rubbed his head against my shoulder like I was some kind of snuggly toy he was using to soothe himself.
“Would it be weird if I said yes? I mean, logically I know wanting to be little isn’t weird, but with us and our past…” He sighed and sat up enough that he could look me in the eyes.
I could see questions and hesitation in them, but he wasn’t letting his fears or the past stand in his way. It was easy to see how he’d managed to pick himself up and charge forward with his life after his father had shot everything all to hell. He’d always been a stubborn little thing and that hadn’t changed.
“I think our past makes it logical.” Kind of. “We trust each other and this is a way for you to safely explore being little without having to get to know someone new.”
“You don’t think this will…I don’t know…complicate things or make them awkward?” His brows pulled together and I could see questions whirling inside him.
I thought I knew where he was going, so I did my best to sound calm and logical as I brought it up. “While a Daddy’s relationship with his little will be intimate, it doesn’t have to be sexual. We won’t do anything that crosses the boundaries we set up.”
Bodies responded and sometimes it was out of our control, but that didn’t mean I’d steer things down that path or assume he was interested in me in that way.
His cheeks turned a faint pink, but he nodded. “But we won’t let it get too awkward? I might be assuming too much, but I’d like to keep in touch and…”—he shrugged—“and have someone to talk to about…stuff.”
Smiling, I pulled him back into me. “Oh, I guarantee it’s going to get awkward more than once, but that doesn’t mean we stop being friends. It means you’ll blush and I’ll either feel a bit guilty or pleased with myself, depending on the circumstances, and then we move past it. An awkward moment or two doesn’t mean we stop talking or stop doing things together. No matter where I end up, I plan on stalking you to make sure you’re doing okay.”
And that he wasn’t hiding away forever, worried about what others might think.
Confidence was easy when you were surrounded by people who thought the same way you did. Once he got home…that would be another story altogether. He would need someone behind him giving him a push, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
Joseph chuckled, letting me hug him tight. “I’m not sure promising me things will get awkward and you won’t be afraid to stop me should make me feel more confident about all this.”
“But it does.” I smirked. “Because you’re too curious to back down.”
“You’re going to drive me nuts. I can already see it.” The teasing sigh in his voice said he didn’t really mind the idea of me making him crazy, however.
I grinned. “What are Daddies for?”
Joseph groaned playfully then turned to bury his face in my neck. “Daddies are for cuddling and tucking you in and letting you play.”
Someone had been making a list.
“That’s right, and they make you snacks and help you relax and take care of you.” I stroked over his head and down his neck to cup his chin. “Tomorrow we’re going to talk about boundaries and what you’re curious about. Fair warning, this will be one of those awkward things we mentioned a few minutes ago.”
His groan this time was of embarrassed frustration. “Don’t tell me that.”
Snuggling closer again, he sighed. “Do we really have to talk about…stuff like that?”
“Yep.” There was no way around that. “But if you’re good, I’ll turn on the next Star Wars movie and maybe I’ll find something else to make you for a special treat.”
“More brownies?” The excitement in his voice had me smiling.
“We’ll see.” I’d planned on freezing the last of the brownies so he could have them later in the week, but I could find something else for him next time I needed a good bribe.
“That means yes, right?” He giggled when I sighed.
Maybe it was the relief of having everything out in the open or maybe it was a combination of a lot of things, but I was starting to see his little side coming to the surface. Had he ever really let it out to play, even when it was just him by himself?
Did he have coloring books or toys or had he locked that side of his personality away?
“I’m not sure you need brownies for every snack.” His pouty huff had me chuckling. “But we’ll find some fun treats as long as you’re good. That means you won’t avoid conversations and you’ll be a good boy when I decide it’s bedtime for you.”
“Is that something we’ll talk about tomorrow…bedtimes and stuff?” I could hear the relief in his voice, but I was going to have to burst that hopeful bubble.
“Yes, we’ll talk about things like how you feel about me setting a bedtime for you and how much control over day-to-day things you want me to have while we’re here together. Depending on how much control you want your Daddy to have, we’ll also talk about rules around self-pleasuring and if you want me to bathe you. I think you’d like a bubble bath.”
And I was pretty sure I’d seen a bottle of something that would work under one of the bathroom sinks. But toys were going to be a little harder to come by. I hadn’t exactly packed like I was taking a vacation with a little.
“Oh.” There wasn’t enough of a response to figure out what he was thinking, but the fact that he didn’t pull away from me said a lot.
“But that’s tomorrow and we’re not going to worry about it.” I found myself kissing his head again. It was taking liberties, but since he hadn’t complained, I was going to assume it was an acceptable way of showing affection.
But that was something that probably should go on the list too.
“Okay, tomorrow.” He snuggled his head back against me again and I took that to mean he wasn’t going to worry about it for the time being.
“For tonight, how about before we get you ready for bed we check out some of the closets and see if we can find some toys for you to play with. We can also look through the movies and see what appeals to your little side.” I glanced over at the TV while I mentally sorted through my movies.
“If this question is too hard or just too confusing to answer that’s okay, but how little do you picture yourself when your Daddy is taking care of you?” When he was quiet for a few seconds too long, I decided to rephrase that a bit. “Not the kinky things you might get off to, but the other parts where you’re in the headspace where you want to play or watch movies or have your Daddy take care of you.”