He’d been a Daddy.
Shit.
Okay, I wasn’t sure why panic was my first reaction, but I had to force myself not to run away like an idiot. He’d just opened up to me and I wasn’t going to make him feel like he’d done something wrong. We were grown-ass adults and I just needed to remember that.
Thinking about what to say had my head whirling.
I let myself relax back into him and took a long breath. He’d reacted too calmly for it to have been completely unknown to him, so I wasn’t sure why I was surprised. As for the tiny flare that felt almost like jealousy, which it couldn’t have been, I just had to remember he’d been an adult when we’d first met. Expecting him to be some kind of kink virgin was stupid.
Not that it was my business to begin with.
He’d only shared to make me feel less alone. I appreciated it, but I wasn’t going to overreact. “I’m glad you had someone to figure things out with. It’s hard to do that on your own.”
Ha, sounded like a real adult.
He ran his hand up my back and started stroking my neck. “Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but after you left, did you find anyone to explore that part of yourself with?”
I had to smile. “I think that ship has already sailed. Might as well overshare.”
I sighed, wishing I had a good story to tell. Unfortunately, I just sounded pathetic. “No, for a while I lived out of my car, so it wasn’t like I could invite someone home. I dated a bit, but it never felt right to share that part of my…I don’t know, I guess my imagination with them.”
Going home with someone to fool around a bit was one thing, but asking them to take care of me or spank me was another.
That was more personal than trading blow jobs.
“By the time I got an apartment and my life together, it was just something I stuck on the back burner. Who has time to look for a Daddy when they’re working two jobs and barely making ends meet?” It didn’t feel like I’d given anything up or that I’d missed out on something.
There were just more important things I’d needed to focus on. My regular job covered most things, but paying off the lawyer and making sure I had enough to go back to court at some point had me working nights as a driver through one of the apps. It was boring, but keeping the cabin was more important than some fantasy Daddy.
“I think you’ve done a great job at making a life for yourself, and I wouldn’t worry about rushing into anything. You have a lifetime to figure that part out.” He gave a low chuckle. “Now if you were ancient like me, I’d give you different advice.”
I had to bite back my first response because that didn’t seem like the moment to tell him he was hot.
“Yeah, when I’m old like you then I’ll worry about dying before I find a Dom.” I grinned as he groaned.
“Oh, that hurts.” I felt him kiss my head again as he chuckled. “So mean to me when I made you brownies and even played your favorite movie.”
I snorted. “You bribed me down here, old man.”
His chest jerked up and down again in silent laughter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wanted dessert.”
“Sure…you were so hungry for brownies that you only ate one.” I giggled as his fingers dug into my side, making me squirm.
“Someone ate the rest of the brownies. A greedy boy who didn’t want to share.” He meant it to be teasing and funny, but it sent a thrill through me that I knew was wrong.
“When you bribe someone, you have to be willing to pay the cost.” It wasn’t what my brain had wanted to say, but then it’d proven just as unreliable as my cock when it came to making decisions about things related to Daddies and BDSM.
“I’ll remember that next time I think about bribing you.” The teasing laughter in his voice made me smile even wider.
“Shouldn’t that remind you not to bribe me again?”
“Of course not.” He snorted. “I’m just going to double the batch next time.”
Forest said it so logically I wasn’t sure if he was serious or just teasing, and somehow that just made it funnier. “You were probably a very overindulgent Daddy.”
Forest laughed. “There is no such thing. Littles are meant to be cuddled and spoiled and spanked when they want Daddy to take control.”
That took a turn I hadn’t expected.
Blushing, I kept my head tucked against him so I didn’t have to see his response, but I forced my question out anyway. “Do a lot of littles like that?”
He seemed to get what I was asking without my having to elaborate more. “Spankings? It depends on the person, but yeah, in my experience it’s common. Everyone’s different, but a lot of subs I’ve spoken with said there’s just something about bending over their Dom’s lap. One guy I was talking to online ages ago said that every time his Daddy spanked him it was like they were reconnecting.”
I didn’t have a response that sounded logical or grown up, so I just nodded and hoped he’d continue.
Thankfully, Forest seemed to understand. “For me, I love knowing that I’m giving my partner what they need. And when it’s with someone I have a relationship with, it’s almost like I’m claiming them.” He chuckled. “My Dom side can be a bit of a caveman, I guess.”
It was the conversation I’d always wanted to have with someone…but not the man I’d ever imagined having it with. When I was young it’d been pretty easy for me to figure out I was gay. It also hadn’t taken rocket science to figure out Forest was sexy even if he was a lot older than me.
On some level knowing him for so long made it easier, but it also made it stranger.
This was Forest.
It wasn’t some random guy who I’d clicked with. He’d known me since I was a shy dork who couldn’t talk to strangers. Talking about my sex life with someone who’d known me that long was probably weird.
“I shouldn’t ask if you’ve been spanked.” He chuckled when I groaned. “That would be prying. So I’m going to ask if you’ve thought about finding a Daddy or dipping your toes in and meeting people in the lifestyle where you live.”
That wasn’t much easier, but at least it wasn’t asking about my personal feelings regarding bending over a Dom’s lap. “Um, I’ve thought about it some…but honestly, the idea of meeting people in person is overwhelming. But there are a few I talk to online.”
I knew a few people online who I could probably call friends. They were scattered in different places, but a few were fairly close. One guy was even at a college about an hour from where I lived. He was a bit odd sometimes but not off his rocker odd, just the regular kind.
“I can understand that, but what about meeting some subs in your area? They’d have things in common with you and you wouldn’t have the pressure of a potential relationship.” The tone of his voice was cajoling and tender…but I could hear the stubbornness setting in.
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I sighed when he chuckled.
“Nope.”
“Fine.” He was too bullheaded to argue with. “I’ll think about it.”
“Just think about it?”