“I still can’t believe that fit inside me,” she commented, and I froze.
I looked down at my cock, squeezed the base, and held back a laugh. “Okay, then. You do say the best things.”
“I say the most awkward things. But thank you for thinking so.”
I shook my head before leaning down and stripping off the rest of her clothes. She was naked on the bed, all sweet curves and sin, and I was going to hell. I would have one hell of a good time on the way down, though.
I hovered over her, kissing her, and then frowned. “We both took tests. We’re clean.”
“And you can’t get me pregnant again.”
The thought of being bare inside her nearly made me come, and I slid my cock between her folds. She moaned, widening her legs more. “So, no condom?”
“No condom,” I whispered and then kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around me, her fingers scraping down my back, and I smiled. She loved claiming me like that, just a slight mark that would go away, but it was a claim, nonetheless.
And it was a damn good thing because I wanted to claim her. I spread her thighs and then slid inside, her wet heat enveloping me. We both let out a moan before I captured her lips and began to move. She arched into me, meeting me thrust for thrust as I sucked on her neck, her breasts, leaving little marks just like she was doing to me. I turned over onto my back, and she positioned herself over me, riding me. She looked at me for a second as if unsure, and I remembered that she had never done this before. I would have to teach her.
That thought nearly sent me over the edge. I slid my hands over Natalie’s hips and arched into her, thrusting from below as she rolled her hips. The sensation robbed me of breath, and I groaned, shaking. When she arched her back, rolling her hips as if lost in ecstasy, I pounded into her harder, needing more. Her whole body pinkened, her nipples hardening as she came, her pussy clamping around my dick. I followed her over, filling her. She fell on top of me, whispering my name, and I held back doing the same.
I couldn’t say her name. I couldn’t do anything to bring her closer. I was already afraid that I had fallen in love with Natalie the first time I met her. Being with her wasn’t good for either of us. She would eventually see the true me, and when that happened, she would leave.
So, I couldn’t let myself think I had fallen. I couldn’t let her know I had fallen. Because if I did, she’d break me.
What was worse, I was afraid I might break her.
No matter the connection we shared.
Eleven
Natalie
I slid down Tanner’s body and smiled up at him, the lazy half-asleep grin he gave me making my heart hurt. It had been over two months of us pretending that we were doing this with clear eyes and unbroken hearts, and I did my best to remember our promise to each other.
We’d walk away if it became too much, but we’d never leave the child we’d created.
It had been four months since Tanner had first taken me and changed our lives, and now here I was, doing my best to pretend I wasn’t falling in love with the kind man with me. He might call himself broken, the bad boy, or any other derogatory term he could come up with, but that wasn’t who I saw.
Only I couldn’t let him know that I could see beneath the surface.
If I did, he’d likely walk away from me, yet stay in my life because he was that good of a man.
It would hurt to be near him and not be with him, so I didn’t let him see my feelings. I didn’t let him see how I fell harder for him with each passing doctor’s appointment. Or when he held me close as I cried happy tears about getting the paid internship for the summer. They’d even understood that I was having a baby and wouldn’t be able to start until later. It was the perfect job and a promise of something more.
I didn’t let Tanner know that my heart nearly burst every time he put his hands on my stomach while reading the baby books. He put his whole soul into becoming the man he thought he needed to be for our child’s future. He worked long hours, passed all his exams with flying colors, and was nearly a four-point-oh for his entire college career. He had a job lined up with Montgomery Inc. when he finished school and made things work. We wouldn’t have to leave the state or figure out who would follow their dream. Things were falling into place. At least, when it came to our respective futures and ensuring that our child had a support system.
And I was so afraid if something changed between us, I’d end up broken in the end. He’d leave because he hadn’t meant to stay. We might be sleeping together, but we hadn’t talked about who we were to one another. We’d both done our best not to speak of it. He’d said that he wouldn’t let me raise our child alone, which was as much of a commitment as we allowed ourselves.
The fact that we continued sleeping together was almost an afterthought. Something we were good at, that distracted us so we didn’t have to discuss anything further. We were having a baby yet doing everything we could to ignore the reality of our situation by pretending that going through checklists of what to do when becoming a parent would help. We’d fallen into a relationship but hadn’t set boundaries. Nothing felt real, even though I wanted it to be real.
Somehow, I’d allowed myself to believe that this could be real.
Only, he would move on.
He had to.
We’d only meant for it to be one night. As a distraction. I wasn’t meant to be his forever.
“Why are you frowning at my dick? Is something wrong?” Tanner tugged gently on my ponytail as he spoke, worry in his tone.
I looked up at him, my hand still around the base of his cock, the tip near my mouth. I smiled, doing my best to push all thoughts of what could be out of my mind. “Just wondering if I should go hard and fast or tease slightly before I ride you for our morning fun,” I lied.
Tanner met my gaze, and I knew he saw something I didn’t want him to see. So, I did my best to do what I’d done the past two years I’d known him. I lied. I hid all feelings for the man I was falling for and pretended that we weren’t making a mistake by continuing this farce while the seriousness of our situation lay in shattered remains around us.
Instead of letting him speak again, I swallowed the tip of his cock, hollowing my cheeks as I took more of him into my mouth. Tanner groaned before moving my head where he wanted me. I sucked him, playing gently with his balls with my free hand.
In the past two months since we’d started this, he’d taught me how to please him, and I’d learned how he loved to pleasure me. We might not know what would happen in the next few months, but we’d learned that, at least in bed—or on the couch, in the shower, or the car—we were combustible and compatible.
Tanner shifted his hips, and I took him deeper, humming along his length. Before I could blink, he lifted me and spun me around. I let out a groan as he put me on all fours, my knees on the edge of the bed as he stood behind me.
“I can’t wait,” he growled, and then he was inside me. I came suddenly, the bliss stealing all thought.
It felt as if he were all around me, touching me, making me feel and breathe and gasp. I couldn’t focus on anything but him, and I knew if I weren’t careful, the frayed tether between us would snap, and I would lose part of myself along the way. But I didn’t care.