Screw me. I wanted to tell him it was okay to not use one. But I wasn’t on birth control. I’d been about to get on it but got my kidney stolen instead.
He sighed and dropped down next to me on the rug.
I saw his erection straining against his jeans.
“You said you dreamt of this moment,” I said. “So you’ve dreamt of me coming back for a long time? Or of fucking me?”
He turned toward me. He reached out and pushed a strand of hair out of my face. “Both.”
“For how long?”
He didn’t respond, but his fingers stayed on me. Gently sliding down my neck and massaging my shoulder.
“Did you want to fuck me back when I used to sneak down into your room?”
His Adam’s apple rose and then fell. “Yes.”
“Did you ever touch yourself when you thought of me?”
“Brooklyn…”
“Did you?”
“Yes.” He paused for a moment. “I jerked off to the thought of you. More than I’d like to admit. Usually at night before I knew you’d crawl into my bed. So I wouldn’t do something stupid.”
I got that. He wasn’t supposed to be sleeping in the same bed as me. Let alone touching me. “What was I doing when you thought about me?”
He continued to massage my shoulder. But there was a heat in his gaze that wasn’t there a moment ago. “I liked you on your knees. Begging me.”
I swallowed hard.
“I liked picturing your lips around my cock.”
Jesus. But honestly, I felt a lot like doing that now. He’d been better than my dreams. I wanted to be better than his too. I slowly sat up and shifted my weight to my knees. “I want you.”
“Brooklyn you don’t have to…”
“I need you. Please.” I wasn’t above begging for what I wanted. I’d already undone his pants. So I reached forward and shoved his boxers down. He was rock hard. I wanted him in every way. I’d actually dreamed of this too. Of him being mad at me for taking so long to come back to him. I pictured him shoving his cock down my throat. He’d wanted to punish me for making him wait. I’d touched myself to that very image.
I leaned down and licked his tip.
“Fuck.”
I didn’t bother teasing him anymore. I took his whole length into my mouth. All the way to the back of my throat.
He buried his fingers in my hair.
Each groan from his mouth made me tighten my lips and move faster.
I’d dreamed of this too. My lips around his cock. I’d dreamed of it when I shouldn’t have. And something about knowing he’d thought about us like this too…I felt sexy. I felt desired.
And I felt super hot. Like way overheated. And I wasn’t sure if it was because of the fire or because I was desperate for his touch again. Not even having a hug in the past several months made me feel like I was starving. I wanted his hands, his mouth, anything he’d give me. I tightened my lips again.
He came in my mouth. Shot after shot. It was sweeter than I expected it to be. And I drank him down.
He just stared at me. “What the hell have you been doing the past few months?”
I laughed and lay down next to him. “Tons of prostitution.”
He lightly slapped my ass.
“No.” I put my head on his chest. “I’ve been missing you. Dreaming of that. Dreaming of you.”
He pulled me closer and pressed a kiss on the side of my forehead.
***
I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. I opened my eyes and yawned. For a second I had no idea where I was. I sat up in the bed and looked around.
I thought I’d dreamt of him again.
But I was here.
I breathed in Miller’s familiar scent as I ran my fingers across his comforter. He must have carried me in here once I fell asleep in front of the fire.
He was real. This was real. And…it was Christmas. I didn’t want to sleep the whole day away. I jumped out of bed and hopped around, the wooden floor cold on my bare feet. My clothes weren’t anywhere in sight, so I opened up Miller’s drawers to find something. All I could find that might work were a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring at the waist and a t-shirt that was way too big. It was not at all a cute outfit. But Miller had never cared about what I looked like.
I wandered out into the hall, glad that the pants were too big so that I was stepping on them instead of the cold floor. Miller was sitting on the couch reading. He heard me and lifted his head.
“Hey,” Miller said.
“Hey.” I sat down next to him.
We both just stared at each other. I think there was a lot we needed to say, but neither of us wanted to say it.
Instead of speaking, he placed his book down, grabbed my hand, and pulled me onto his lap.
I sighed and leaned my forehead against his. “Merry Christmas.”
He pulled his head back from mine and traced my lower lip with his thumb. “Where have you been, kid?”
I groaned. “You can’t call me that anymore. I’m an adult. And it’s weird because we just did that thing.”
His hands fell to my waist. “What thing?”
I stared at him.
He raised his left eyebrow at me.
I laughed. “The thing.” Why was I being so weird? I tried to crawl off his lap, but his fingers tightened on my hips.
“Tell me what we did.” He lightly kissed my jawline and up to my ear. “Tell me I didn’t dream that.” He nipped at my earlobe.
God. My fingers tightened on his shoulders and I’m pretty sure I moaned. It wasn’t my fault. The whole no human contact for months thing was really messing with me. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to say those dirty words. It reminded me of when Matt had asked me to tell him what I wanted. And I’d said I wanted him to poke me in the pants. Which was mortifying. And juvenile. I wanted Miller to know I was old enough to want these things with him.
“You didn’t dream it,” I said as he nipped my ear again. I accidentally started grinding against him and he hissed in my ear. I really liked that noise. “I recall giving you really amazing Christmas morning head. You’re welcome, by the way.”
“I recall returning the favor.”
“Hmm did you? I don’t remember that.”
He kissed behind my ear again and then pulled back, feigning a shocked expression. “You don’t remember? I must not have done a good enough job then.”
I squealed as he shifted on the couch, tossing me on my back.
“Miller you don’t have to…”
He pulled my sweatpants down and slid a finger inside of me.
I should have been embarrassed about how wet I was. But I wasn’t embarrassed at all. How could I be when he groaned by just touching me?
“Do you remember now?” he asked, sliding another finger inside of me.
God. I lifted my hips and he pushed them back down with his free hand.
His fingers slowed down. “Did you dream of me too, Brooklyn?”
What was he doing? The slow pace was driving me insane.
“How long have you wanted me to touch you like this?” His thumb traced slow circles on my clit.
I moaned.
“Tell me you thought of us too.” He moved his fingers even slower.
Fuck.