I shook my head. No.
I wanted more from Sam than sex, though sex was the first thing on my mind. He was absolutely gorgeous, tall, dark, and handsome with big blue eyes and dark hair. He was the sort of man every woman wanted, and I needed him to be mine. I didn’t care that he was my dad’s best friend. I mean, I cared a little, but what my dad didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. And I was pretty confident that Sam could keep a secret just as well as I could. I just needed to figure out if he was interested. Heck, I needed to figure out if he would give me the time of day.
The problem was that I wasn’t sure that he saw me as a woman. I think he just saw me as a little kid—and I was far from being a little kid. And it wasn’t creepy or anything because we hadn’t known each other when I was a little kid. He and my father had been best friends in high school and college, and then Sam had gone off to Europe and worked at some huge bank. They’d kept in contact until he moved back to South Carolina a couple of years ago.
I can still remember the first time that I saw him, the way he’d smiled at me, the way that he’d flirted, the way he’d looked my body up and down. And then he’d realized who I was, and he’d backed off immediately. Gone was the flirtatious smile and the twinkle in his eyes, and his expression had grown serious. But I hadn’t forgotten the way he’d made me feel when he’d first kissed my hand. I hadn’t forgotten the way his lips had pressed against my cheek and the way his strong arms had held me to him when we hugged.
I needed to get to know Sam a lot more intimately, and I was going to follow in my best friend’s footsteps and write him a letter. I still wasn’t sure if I was going to sign my last name or not. Actually, I wasn’t sure if I was even going to sign my first name.
I was thinking I could go by some sort of alias and maybe wear a wig and show up at a dark club and see if he was interested in me. And then after the deed was done, I’d let him know it was me, though I wasn’t sure that would work in real life. That was the sort of thing that always worked in movies, and I always thought the guys were dumb for not recognizing the women because a wig doesn’t really change your appearance that much. But I was willing to try it if it would give me an opportunity for a night with Sam.
My phone rang just then. It was one of my friends from school, Louisa. “Hey, girl. What’s up?” I said, putting my pen and paper down.
“Not much, bitch. What you up to?”
“Not much, just here doing homework.”
“You don’t do homework, Shelby,” she laughed. She had an annoying, high-pitched laugh. “Who are you kidding?”
“I want to pass this class, so I—”
“Want to go out tonight?”
“Where are you going?”
“There’s a frat party. The Sigmas are throwing a hoe-down. I figured you might want to come.” Her words hung in the air.
I knew she’d just called me a ho, but I wasn’t going to let her get a rise out of me. “I don’t know. I’m not really feeling it tonight.”
“Come on. Casper’s going to be there, and Travis.”
She was looking to get slapped. “And so what?” I kept my voice casual.
“So, don’t you want them to fight over you again?”
“Not really.”
“Come on. It was so much fun last time.”
“It was okay. I’m just not interested in either of them anymore.” I had dated Casper for a month my sophomore year of college. He’d been okay, but I’d gotten fed up at the number of times he’d shoved my head into his crotch and told me to suck his dick. I mean, it would’ve been okay if he’d reciprocated, but he would blow his load and then go about his business, just leaving me there. Travis was his fraternity brother who, one night when I was left feeling unsatisfied, had pleasured me. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I’d let Travis go down on me.
What I was ashamed to admit was that Casper had walked in on Travis going down on me, and well, I kind of laughed in his face, which now I knew was cruel and I wouldn’t do again—at least not in front of so many witnesses. Casper had walked in with several of his fraternity brothers. And yes, I’d come with all five of them standing there.
It was a little embarrassing to think that several Sigmas knew my O face.
“Yeah, I don’t think I want to go.” I shook my head as I studied my reflection in the mirror. “Hey, Louisa?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think I would look better with red hair or black hair?”
“What are you talking about? You’re the hottest blonde I know.”
“I know I’m a hot blonde, but say for one evening, I wanted to be someone a little different. What do you think would suit me better, red hair or black hair?”
“Well, black hair, you’d be a vixen, and red hair, you’d be innocent. So I guess it depends what are you trying to be, innocent or a vixen?”
“Ah, good question,” I said, and then an idea popped into my head. “But hey, I got to go now, okay?”
“What? So you’re really not going to come to the party?”
“Not tonight, maybe next time.”
I hung up quickly and left my apartment, grabbing my handbag as I did. “I’m going out!” I yelled, even though I wasn’t sure anyone was listening to me. I grabbed my car keys from my purse and jumped into my car.
I had a trip to the mall to make. I was going to buy two wigs, a bob and one with very long hair, and both of them would be raven as the night sky because I needed to be all vixen.
As I pulled out of the driveway, my phone started ringing. I pressed the button on my dashboard so that the Bluetooth would connect. “Hello?” I said, speaking into the air as I drove.
“Hey,” a deep, firm voice spoke.
“Hey, who’s this?” I said, not recognizing the number on the screen.
“It’s me. It’s Casper.”
“Oh, hey, Casper. How’s it going?” We hadn’t really spoken since that night, and I didn’t really know why he was calling.
“I was just calling to invite you to a Sigma party tonight.”
“Oh, thanks, but I can’t make it. I have plans.”
“Well, that’s a shame.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the invite, though.”
“I have a question for you.”
“Okay.”
“So remember the last party you came to?”
“How can I forget?”
“The one where you let Travis go down on you.” His voice dripped with bitterness. I really hoped he didn’t want to talk about it now.
“Uh-huh?” I said. Where was he going with this? Was he trying to start an argument as I was driving?
“So we had an idea.”
“You need to just spit it out, Casper. I’m not really sure what you’re talking about. Who is we?”
“So I was thinking you like my dick, and you like Travis’s tongue, right?”
“Whatever.”
“So we, me and Travis thought perhaps…”
“Yeah?”
“You’d like a devil’s threesome.”
“A what?” I almost hit the car in front of me. “Sorry, what did you say?” I was not sure that I’d heard him correctly. I couldn’t be hearing him correctly.