“O-M-G! I knew you would come! I just knew it! Momma! Daddy! Didn’t I tell you she would come! Auntie NayNay would never miss my birthday! We’re best friends! Pinky promise for life!”
She hugged me harder, tighter. Making me feel whole again.
“I missed you,” I uttered into the side of her neck.
“I missed you more! I’m so happy you’re here!”
“Me too, babe. Me too.”
She pulled away, beaming. “Who was that wit’ you? Where did he go?”
Harley and I locked eyes as she walked over to us.
“Bailey bug, why don’t you go inside and get a piece of cake ready for Journey.”
“Oh, I’d love a piece of cake.”
“I can do that.” She smiled. “I’ll get you the slice that has the most frostin’.”
“You know how much I love frosting.”
She nodded. “I love frostin’ too.” Bailey didn’t pick up on the tension flowing through the air in her front yard. She simply spun and left us without questioning the animosity searing off my body, for no one but my brother.
As soon as she shut the door behind her, I snapped, “What the fuck was that?” glaring solely at Jackson.
In three long strides, he was in my face. Harley grabbed onto his arm, holding him back. I wasn’t scared of my brother. I was the last person on earth who was intimidated by him. He wouldn’t hurt me, at least not physically.
“I could say the same to you! What the fuck are you doing with him?!”
“Shhh! Both of you. Someone is going to hear you. Bailey already did. Do you have any idea how bad that could have been?”
“Journey, answer my fuckin’ question before I lose my shit—”
“Before you lose your shit?” I interrupted, unable to hold back. “Are you for real? Was that really necessary?”
“Are you seriously going to stand there and defend that piece of shit? Here? In my home?”
“It was my idea, Jackson. He wanted no part of being here. I made him come. I told him to trust me, and God, was I wrong.”
“What. Are. You. Doing. With. Him?”
My fists clenched together, my blood searing hot. “He’s my friend.”
“Since when?” he barked, taken aback.
“Since I was born.”
He vigorously shook his head. “Enough with the bullshit. Tell me the truth!”
“Jackson, calm down,” Harley demanded, beckoning him with her eyes.
“Not until she tells me why that motherfucker was holding her hand, when she’s supposed to be at school in Spain.”
“Because I’m an adult. I don’t have to answer to you,” I spit the truth.
“Dad know you’re not at school?”
“Yes, and so does Mom.”
“The fuck? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Because you’re an asshole!”
“I’m an asshole?” he scoffed out, narrowing his eyes. “You’re the one who brought that son of a bitch near my family!”
“This isn’t helping anythin’,” Harley intervened. “You both need to take a step back and talk when you’ve had the time to cool off.”
His eyes tore to his wife. “You’re taking her side?”
“What?” She shook her head. “Of course not. I’m just as disappointed with her bringin’ him here as you are, but I’m not allowin’ myself to speak out of anger. I don’t wanna say somethin’ I’ll regret.”
“Yeah? Well, I have no fuckin’ problem speaking for the both of us.”
“I’m standing right here,” I sternly reaffirmed. “Stop talking about me like I’m not. I’m not a child anymore, so stop treating me like one.”
“Journey, please go inside. I need to talk to Jackson.”
“Fuck that. I don’t want to hear your bullshit either. I won’t apologize for wanting to put that motherfucker in his place again.”
“Again?” she emphasized, blurting what I was thinking.
We all stood there for what felt like hours, struggling to gather our thoughts. This huge elephant surrounding us. The tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. No one brought up the fact I knew the truth, and neither one seemed fazed. They were more concerned about me bringing Cash there than they were about what I’d always known.
How long did they know I knew about Bailey?
I bit my tongue, fighting with everything inside of me not to ask them that very question.
“He didn’t want to come, alright? This was all my doing. It has nothing to do with him,” I spoke the truth. “I swear it.”
Cash was right. He’d been right this entire time. This wasn’t a good idea, and I should have known better. I hated feeling defeated, knowing I’d be responsible for whatever consequences would come from this.
When I heard the word “No” spew from his mouth, it was a slap to the face.
Would he see me again? Would I be able to find him? Would he find me?
The questions running through my mind were endless. I couldn’t get them to stop.
Did I ruin what was happening between us?
I couldn’t control the situation or the outcome, and that was the hardest part of all this.
Bringing my attention to her, Harley questioned, “How are you even with him, Journey?”
I sighed, taking a deep, long breath. I didn’t want to lie to them, but it seemed as though I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
So I told half the truth. “I saw him in Amsterdam.”
“The fuck were you doing there?” Jackson snarled all in one breath.
“I went to a rock festival with some girlfriends and ran into him.”
“I find it very hard to believe Cash was just freely walking around for you to run into him, Journey. Try again.”
“You’re right, he wasn’t,” I sassed, cocking my head. “Feel better now?”
“Then how the fuck did you see him?”
“I’m a girl. They’re rock stars. Put two and two together, Jackson.”
The realization came to him. “Are you telling me you were a goddamn groupie?”
“What if I was? Huh? What are you going to do?”
Tearing his arm away from Harley, he confidently strode away. His arrogance shining through with each step he took away from me. “I’m going to find him and fuckin’ end him. That’s what I’m going to do.”
“Jack—”
He whipped around, not giving me a chance to respond, and charged back into the house. Leaving Harley and me alone for the first time since I’d left for school, at the beginning of the spring semester.
As soon as the front door shut behind him, she didn’t wait to ask, “You know, don’t you?”
I bit my bottom lip, contemplating how to respond. I didn’t want to lie to her. Harley was more than just my sister-in-law, she was one of my closest friends.
Answering for me, she questioned, “How long have you known?”
“Since the first time I held Bailey.”
She jerked back. “Why didn’t you ever say anythin’?”
I shrugged. “How could I bring that up, Harley? What was I supposed to say? We’ve never even come close to bringing up the topic, but in my defense, a huge part of me always thought you knew. Why else would you let me bring Cash into her life through the music you know he loves? Jackson did as well. My brother may be an asshole, but he never stopped me. You guys are upset with him, I get it. He fucked up. I don’t know what happened between you guys, however, I do know that much.” I paused to let my words sink in. “Cash isn’t doing good. He hasn’t for years. I’m worried about him, and you should be too.”