“I won’t.”
“I love you, Mija. You’re my heart.”
“You’re mine too.”
She hugged me one last time, kissing my forehead. I didn’t waver, going to find my brother. It didn’t surprise me when I found him leaning against the doorframe to Bailey’s bedroom. Lost in his own thoughts.
“She’s my daughter, Journey,” he adamantly stated, feeling me standing behind him.
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do, or else you wouldn’t have brought Cash here today.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’d never want to hurt anyone, and you know that, Jackson. You’re my brother, I love you.”
“You’re standing up for a man who abandoned his daughter. His own flesh and blood. Do you know that?”
“People make mistakes.”
“He abandoned his best friend too. When she needed him the most, he threw her out like she meant nothing to him.” He abruptly spun, gazing deep into my eyes. “What do you think he’s going to do to you? Huh? Tell me.”
I was taken aback. “I don’t know the details of what happened between them, but I’m sure he had his reasons. You’ve made plenty of mistakes yourself, especially where your wife is concerned.”
He shook his head, scoffing out, “You’re blind. Just like Harley was until he showed her his true colors. Cash doesn’t care about anyone other than Cash, and you’re going to learn that the hard way. It might not be today, or tomorrow, or even a year from now. Eventually, a snake always sheds its skin. Remember that when he breaks your heart like he did my wife’s.”
“Jack—”
“You weren’t there. You don’t know how he tore her into pieces. It took me over five years to get my girl back. The damage he caused lasted that long, Journey. He destroys the people who love him. He doesn’t know the meaning of the fuckin’ word. I’m begging you. Pleading with you. Let him drink and drug himself away. He doesn’t deserve you, just like he didn’t deserve Harley or Bailey.”
“Jackson, I can’t do that. Exactly how you fought to bring your person back, I’m going to fight for mine.”
“You don’t even know him, Journey. You remember an illusion of who he was in your mind, which is the furthest from the truth of who he really is. I know him. I grew up with him. I’ve seen firsthand how he takes and takes, and you have no idea how much he’s taking from you until he has nothing left to steal. He’s not the man you think he is, and it kills me he’s going to hurt another person I love the most in this world.”
Once again, my eyes pooled with fresh tears.
“I raised you as much as Mom and Dad did. For the first year of your life, I filled that fatherly role at only thirteen years old. That’s love, Journey. That’s what you do when you care about someone more than you care about yourself. You step up. You fill the void. You make whatever you can right for them. All that motherfucker does is fuck shit up. That’s who you’re running to. A man who destroys everything in his path, including his own parents.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. Everything I want to explain, you won’t understand.”
“Try me. What won’t I understand?”
“How he makes me feel. How complete I am when we’re together. How good it feels to be there for someone when everyone else has abandoned him. You saw him, Jackson. Does he look alright to you?”
“All the more reason I don’t want you near him.”
“It’s not your choice to make. I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“If you go back to him, Journey, I don’t want you in my daughter’s life.”
I gasped, “You can’t be serious.”
“Never been more serious in my life. I don’t want him around Bailey. Not now. Not ever. And if you’re with him, that means she could be too. After the bullshit you pulled today, you’re lucky you’re my baby sister, or I would’ve thrown you out of my house like I did him. There is no choice between Cash and my daughter. I’ll protect her ’til the end. You go back to him, you can say goodbye to her and me as well.”
“Jackson, that isn’t fair.”
“None of this is fuckin’ fair! You think I want to say this to you? I hate being put in this position, but at the end of the day, my role as her father is to keep any danger away.”
“He’s not dangerous.”
“Then you don’t really know him,” he sternly argued. “I’m warning you, stay the fuck away from him, Journey, if you know what’s good for you. He’s not only going to cost you your heart, but your family too.”
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly raging from the inside out. “This is bullshit.”
“I agree. Make your choice, ’cuz you can’t have us both.”
I swallowed hard, my chest rising and falling with each reckless thought.
“Jackson,” Harley chastised, sharply bringing our attention over to her. “Stop saying stuff you’re only going to regret.”
“Har—”
“No.” She put her hand out in front of her, looking at me. “Journey, please go.”
“You’re kicking me out too?”
“Of course not, but my husband can’t be around you right now without saying shit that is only hurting you both.”
“I mean it,” he chided.
“Jackson, enough,” she ordered, “or you’re gonna have to deal with me.”
For the first time in my life, I was going to leave my brother’s house not knowing...
If I’d ever be welcomed back.
Chapter 10
“Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”
-Bob Seger
<>Cash<>
I threw the empty bottle of Jack on the floor of the limo next to the other empty bottle of whiskey.
Looking out the window, I groaned, “Uhhh,” realizing it was suddenly dark outside. The chauffeur had been aimlessly driving me around for who the fuck knows how long, finally coming to a complete stop.
I didn’t have to wonder where we were. I knew. At some point I’d asked him to bring me here. I couldn’t remember the addresses to the places I’d lived, however, there was no forgetting where I’d come from.
Both mentally and physically.
After all these years, I still referred to the house I was staring at as my home.
Narrowing my eyes, I sat there for a few minutes taking it all in. I hadn’t been here in over twelve years, but that didn’t stop my mind from running wild with memories from my past. Visions that I thought were long forgotten.
From the driveway I parked my first truck in, to the bushes I once threw up in. To the roof I used to sit on, contemplating my life for hours at a time. There were so many memories that would forever live in this house.
Eighteen years of memories.
Both good and bad.
I couldn’t tell you what possessed me to show up here. Maybe ’cuz I knew no one would be home, it’d be empty. They were probably still at Bailey’s birthday party, continuing to live life like I never existed.