Ten minutes later Charlotte comes back complaining to Alannah that she’s tired and rubbing her eyes. They say goodbye to Henry and his kid, I get a wave and head nod from him, then we head back to where Wade is waiting with the car.
“Daddy can you carry me?”
“Absolutely. Come here.” Alannah stops and gawks in surprise.
I lean down, grab her under her arms and hoist her up, her little arms automatically wrapping around my neck, her legs going around my waist. I can’t explain this feeling, what it means to be holding her close to me, she’s so trusting in the way she has just accepted me so easily. Her mother on the other hand is a different story.
She’s fast asleep within two minutes of placing her in the car. The drive to their house is filled with silence. Alannah won’t even look at me. I wish I knew what she was thinking and her thoughts on how today went.
I assist her by carrying Charlotte inside to lay her in her bed. She briefly wakes and looks up at me.
“Bye, Charlie. I need to go home now but I promise I’ll be back to see you again very soon okay.” It hurts saying that. I push her hair back off her face then place a kiss on her temple before walking out of her room. Alannah is waiting for me in the lounge room with an envelope in her hands.
“I put this together for you this morning. It’s just some baby photos I thought you might like to see.”
“Thank you,” I say as I reach over to take it from her.
We’re both standing there awkwardly.
“I’ll call you in a couple of days but I would like to come back as soon as I can manage it.”
“You want to come back?” I don’t know why she sounds so surprised. I told her what I want.
“Of course I do. Alannah, I told you I want to make this work.” I edge closer to where she’s standing and run my finger along her cheek. She takes a step back. It crushes me that she doesn’t even want to be near me.
“No, I can’t. You need to build your relationship with your daughter.”
“What about our relationship? I know you still feel something for me. I can see it in your eyes.” Her caramel coloured orbs survey me, darting around my face, landing on my mouth. I want to hold her and kiss her. Take away the hurt with my lips and hands. Feel her melt against me again. She’s fighting a losing battle with herself and her heart.
“We have no relationship, Nicholas. Look, I’m not going to keep your daughter from you but I swear to God if you hurt her, get her hopes up and then let her down I will come to that fucking penthouse of yours and kill you myself. Is that clear? Don’t let her think she can depend on you if you don’t plan on being here.”
“Very well.” Mama bear is not messing around. I ask the question that has been burning a hole in my mind for the past hour. “Who the hell is Henry anyway? You looked mighty close.”
“Just a friend and none of your business.”
“It is my business if he hangs around my daughter.” Her eyes are shooting rays of anger when she lifts her hand to point her finger at me.
“Don’t you fucking dare, you have no right to tell me what to do or who can or can’t be around my daughter when you’ve been here for a fucking day. You want to know who Henry is, fine, but you asked for this, he’s a single father whose son goes to the same kindergarten as Charlotte, I met him two years ago. We have a mutual arrangement. Want me to be clearer? We’re friends with benefits. He’s my fuck-buddy. Happy now, Mr Moore?” She hisses.
No I’m not happy, I’m fucking livid and seeing red. That fucker has had what’s mine.
“So what, does that mean you’re going to continue fucking him even though I told you I want us to try again?”
“I never agreed to that, Nicholas and I certainly won’t be fucking you.”
I’m absolutely certain my face looks thunderous before I storm out the front door and walk away before I say or doing something I know I’ll regret.
Just fucking great.
So much for leaving on a good note.
Chapter 7
Nicholas
It takes me hours to cool down. I’m half way back to Sydney on the company’s private plane before I feel my anger subside but it’s still lingering below the surface and it won’t take much to set me off again.
Fuck!
Fucking Henry!
What a shitty name.
Dick!
I just assumed she wouldn’t be seeing anyone. I don’t know why, maybe I thought that her whole life would revolve around looking after our daughter. I know how that sounds and makes me an even worse asshole than I already am. Did I honestly think she wouldn’t have any sort of social life? That she sat around at home every night?
Were you expecting her to be pining for you, Nick?
I need to find out everything I can on the fucker and make a note to remind myself to run a search on him when we land. How many guys can there be with that name in that city? No matter what she says I have every right to know everything about him. She was correct in one respect, I don’t have any right to tell her what to do but it bothers me, the fact that he’s there, closer to them than I am.
I can’t believe she’s fucking some guy. It never crossed my mind that she might even be in a relationship. Alannah was never the type to use someone just for sex. She wanted the fairy tale romantic love. Has she really changed that much over the years? Do I know anything about her anymore?
He looks like a limp dick anyway, wouldn’t know how to use it properly. I bet he has never made her scream and come as loud and hard as I have. Is she really sleeping with him or did she lie to me just to piss me off? God damn it. I’m going to drive myself crazy over it.
I’ve been constantly looking at the photos she gave me. There were about ten of them in the envelope of Charlotte as a baby spanning up until recently. She is smiling in every single one of them. Seeing her happy in them causes me to grin. She was a beautiful baby. I’m even more disgusted and angry at myself for not being there. I bang the side of the wall beneath the window letting some of my frustration out.
My favourite picture is of the two of them in the hospital. Alannah looks so young and beautiful holding a new born Charlie in her arms, her head bowed down towards her; she looks exhausted and happy at the same time. I can feel the love pouring out of her as she gazes at our daughter. I’ve missed out on so much. I have no idea if she had an easy birth or any complications. I should have been there to hold her hand.
Tears spring to my eyes. My chest aches and feels heavy from the guilt. I put all the photos back in their envelope then slip it inside my jacket pocket. How do I go home alone to an empty apartment after spending the day with them? I wish I went to them sooner. If only I could have. Perhaps she would have forgiven me easier if I had.
I couldn’t have wished for today to go better than it did with Charlotte. I bonded with her so quickly. The only way I can describe her is amazing in every single way.
When I finally land back in Sydney it’s raining and my mood plummets as the plane touches down. I need to force myself to rise out of my seat to disembark. Wade is standing in the middle of the aisle, his hands behind his back blocking my exit. I should have been expecting this and prepare myself for his lecture. Wade has been with me since the very beginning when Rick and I started our company. We needed someone in charge of security measures at our sites to ensure material wouldn’t be stolen and go missing. Wade was in the army when he was younger so his security expertise has been brilliant over the years. Over time his role has changed to more of delegating the overseeing of security for all aspects of my life and business to travelling with me. Working for me suits him, he doesn’t have a family, so anywhere I need to fly or need to go he’s there with me, he’s someone I can rely on and I consider him a friend.