“Hi, Alannah.” She replies nervously as she folds her hands together in front of her and shrugs. “I suppose you’re surprised to see me. I’m sorry it’s so early but I couldn’t wait any longer. Can I come in?”
“Yes, sure, of course.” Her presence has certainly thrown me for a loop. I’m not prepared for this however I can’t just send her away. I move back to allow her room to come inside then shut the door.
Turning to face her I find myself suddenly engulfed in her arms in a tight hug. I return it and hold onto her. It’s a comforting hug. We both start crying letting out years of hurt and anger and sadness.
“I’ve missed you.” She tells me when she finally pulls away, wiping away at her face.
“I’ve missed you too, Mel. I really have. Follow me.”
We release each other and move into the kitchen where I make us both cups of tea and coffee before joining her at the table. My hands are wrapped around my hot mug. What do I say? How do I begin this conversation? I have no clue what she has been doing all this time. My heart is beating incredibly fast inside my chest and it’s only Melissa, imagine when I’m faced with Mary and Greg. I don’t want things to be awkward between us but the truth is I’m nervous. Does she hate me? I can’t blame her if she does.
“What are you doing here, how did you get here and more importantly does anybody know you’re here?” She looks down into her cup of coffee as if the answer is swirling around in there.
“After Nick admitted to us what happened between the two of you I was very angry at him. I never thought I could possibly hate my brother but I came very close to feeling that way. I couldn’t believe he was the same person who would do anything for me and made sure I was always looked after and safe. Yesterday, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer so I went to see him and we had an argument. It got pretty heated and ugly. I pretty much forced him to tell me where you are, I got the first flight out here and here I am. I’m sorry for just showing up on your doorstep, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to see you again.”
“I’m happy to see you too.”
I can hear the sadness and disappointment in her words and posture. Mel always idolised Nick, he was the big brother who could do no wrong. It never crossed my mind but seeing her here like this it’s apparent that everyone’s relationship with not only I but Nick as well has been a casualty of this situation. If she’s telling the truth that he never told them about why I left and about the baby five years ago, they must all be extremely resentful towards him. His family always meant the world to him, and as much of a prick that he is I don’t want them turning against him, he never liked to admit it but I know he needs his family’s love and support.
“Why did you leave Alannah? You could have stayed in Sydney? I was hurt as well. I thought we were going to be sisters and then you disappeared without a word. Screw my brother, he will always be a selfish asshole but I was there, you could have called me you know.”
I feel tears spring to my eyes and blink them back. How can I possibly explain myself when I’m so confused? Only thinking about that time brings back all the thoughts and emotions I experienced again. It’s now my turn to stare into my mug.
“It may have been wrong of me to just run away but at the time that was the decision I made. The last thing I wanted was to cause problems for your family. You were young Mel, what could you have done?” I reach across my kitchen table to take hold of her hand. “I know both Nicholas and I are at fault here and we both have to face the fallout. I really don’t have an answer you’ll be happy with, Melissa. When he kicked me out that day all I could think was how heartbroken and devastated I was. He could have come after me but he chose not to, I suppose in some ways I took the easy route, it would have been too painful to stick around. I did the best thing for me which was to leave. I can admit I was selfish but I can’t go back and change the past. I also assumed that he would have told you all that I cheated on him and that you would all have hated me so I stayed away. I am sorry, Mel. I wish things had turned out differently.”
“So do I. All I can say now is at least he’s come to his senses and trying to do the right thing. That needs to count for something right? I know I shouldn’t ask this but can you ever give him another chance, he’s been miserable for so long, even if it is his own fault?”
“I don’t know if I can do that. His priority needs to be his daughter, not me.”
We’ve been in the kitchen for almost an hour when my daughter finally wakes up and walks in wearing her Frozen nightgown, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Mummy…” She takes one look at Melissa and stops talking and walking. Her eyes widen in shock at the unexpected stranger sitting in our kitchen.
“Come here, baby girl, it’s okay.” I call her over and she runs to me, climbing on to my lap, shy and unsure. I run my hands through her mess of bed hair.
“Charlotte, this is your Aunt Melissa, she’s your daddy’s younger sister. She surprised us with a visit. Can you say hi for me?”
“Hello.” She softly offers then looks back at me. “I have another aunty? Is Daddy here too?” She’s referring to my best friend who we call Aunt Rachael.
“No, it’s just me this time kiddo, and yep, you sure do have another aunt but I’m the fun one.” Mel answers for me, making Charlotte giggle. Mel’s eyes have lit up, she has a huge smile on her face while taking in her niece’s appearance. “You are so pretty. Is Queen Elsa your favourite character?”
Charlotte glances down at her nightgown before replying.
“No Olaf the snowman is, he’s the funny one.”
“He sure is. Oh, before I forget.” Mel reaches into her over large red hand bag and pulls out a pink gift box, handing it to Charlotte. “It’s an iPad from Nick. He asked me to bring it over for you so they can Skype each other. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine. Charlotte would like that. How about some breakfast?”
As I fry us all some eggs I don’t know how to feel about the iPad. On one hand I can understand where Nick is coming from in order to be able to see his daughter and vice versa when they talk, on the other hand it’s a little extravagant for a four year old isn’t it? If he thinks or hopes he’ll be seeing me on that thing it isn’t happening.
Following breakfast we spend a lovely day with Mel at Sir James Mitchell Park. It’s right by the water at the foreshore south of the city, with the city’s buildings visible right across us on the opposite side of Swan River. We walk around, have a picnic lunch and play catch with the ball we brought along. Mel and Charlotte got to know each other a little more. We left the deep conversation behind and just enjoyed the day, it’s not like we could talk seriously with little ears around anyhow. I let myself relax and have fun. Whatever my expectations were for today, they certainly were not this. Before long Melissa has to pick up her bag from the hotel she stayed at last night and head back to the airport. I offered to drive her but she preferred to take a taxi. I was so grateful she wasn’t holding a grudge against me that when I hugged her goodbye I started to cry again. She left with promises to spend a spa day with Charlotte next time she sees her, getting my daughter all excited.