My father stands up from his armchair glowering at me.
“All I can say is that I agree with your mother and I too am very disappointed. Nothing can ever make up for what you did and the time you have stolen from us with our granddaughter. You do know that Alannah could have come after you for a heck of a lot of child support. The fact that she didn’t says a lot about her character. Just pray that your mother decides to forgive you. You really went to see them?”
“I did.” I nod in affirmation.
“I hope she makes your life hell. You deserve nothing less.”
Safe to say everybody hates me. He follows my mother out of the room leaving me alone. I leave my parent’s house without saying goodbye to anyone and take my sorry ass back home where I have a lonely dinner waiting for me. I need to talk to Alannah about setting up a day for my parents to meet Charlotte when she’s ready. My mother said as soon as possible but I’m going to leave that up to Alannah.
I call to speak to Charlie before it gets too late here considering I’m three hours ahead of them. I wait for the call to connect expecting to hear Alannah’s voice but it’s Charlie that answers.
“Hi, daddy.” She sounds all excited.
“Hey baby girl, how was your day today?”
I sit back and listen to her tell me all about what she has been up to since I left. I went out at lunch and bought a photo frame. One of the photos Alannah gave to me now sits proudly in front of me on my desk. I stare at it while I have her sweet angelic voice in my ear.
I make a silent vow to her that I will get her and her mother back home, here where they belong, maybe in a great big house with lots of room to run around and play. One day.
Chapter 8
Alannah
I was so mad when Nick left last weekend. How dare he dictate anything to me, as if I am going to listen to anything he says? I can’t believe he actually thinks I’m going to give him another chance to hurt me again. No, it’s best for everyone involved to not go down that path. Our main priority needs to be Charlotte only. I know him, how determined he is when he wants something but this is one time the great Nicholas Moore will not win.
This whole past week since Nick walked back into my life has had me feeling off balance. It was the same the first time we met but that was in a good way, this time I’m filled with worry and anxiety and fear. Fear of this new future I’m now facing. I can only relax again knowing he’s back on his side of the country.
After he stormed out of here I called my mother to vent. I called him every name under the sun I could think of and she just agreed with me. All those awful thoughts and memories I managed to push away about him over the years chose that very moment to resurface and I ended up crying to my mother for over half an hour. Haven’t I been tortured enough because of him? Why can’t he pretend that I don’t exist again? He did a fine job of it for so long. Eventually when I had calmed down I told my mother how their first meeting went and that Charlotte knows who he is.
All she had to say to me was, “Well, Alannah it seems you’re going to have him around in one way or another for the next fourteen years at least. I suggest you find a way to deal with him that doesn’t lead to you turning into a wreck every single time.”
I just wanted her to understand and listen, not give me a lecture.
On top of that Charlotte has been bugging me, questioning when she’s going to be able to see him again but I can’t answer that for her. I have come to realise how much she has actually missed and wanted having a father around. I tried my best to be both for her but it wasn’t enough. Just like every other little girl out there she wanted someone to look up to, to be her protector and prince charming. Who’s going to be your prince charming? You thought you found him then look what happened.
I’ve given up on the so called fairy tale.
Nick has called to speak to his daughter every night before bed time and she looks forward to those calls so much, constantly making plans of what they will do together when he’s here. She is so excited, all I can do is nod and smile when she hangs up with her father and then proceeds to tell me about their conversation. What will happen the first time something comes up with work and he breaks a promise? I’ll be left here to pick up the pieces, that’s what, because with Nicholas, work always came first in the past, he needs to prove he’s changed.
I avoided speaking with Nick the first couple of times he called due to how he left from here but that was just childish. I was better and more mature than that. When we did speak we both tried to keep it civil and leave emotions out of it.
“Nicholas.”
“Alannah.”
“I wanted to ask if you’ve thought about what will happen if people see us together or the tabloids get wind of you constantly flying out here and finding out about Charlotte. What’s going to happen? I don’t want a circus around us.”
“I understand what you’re saying. If or until that happens, you have nothing to worry about, otherwise I will have the PR team release a statement confirming she’s my daughter and has been living with her mother. I think that would be the best way to go. But if that does occur then you will need security around. I don’t want to take any unnecessary chances.”
I groan fearing the worst. Let’s just hope that doesn’t happen for a long time. We should be pretty safe here but what if he wants her to go visit him instead? I dread the answer but ask it anyway.
“We should be fine here, nobody knows who I am although what about if you want her to come visit you in Sydney, it will be hard to hide unless you keep her hidden away in your apartment the entire time.”
“No, I’ll keep coming to you where she’s comfortable so don’t worry about it. Also I told my family the truth about what happened between us and my parents want to meet her but I’m not going to rush you. Whenever you’re ready let me know and I’ll organise everything.”
“I have to go, Charlie’s waiting to speak with you.”
That was three days ago and I can’t help wondering about what I will say to his parents when I do see them. Was I wrong to not go to them? Did I run away because it was easier? No Alannah, stop it, you did what you thought was best at the time. I had to get away from there. I can’t help but wonder now though if things would have worked out differently if I stayed but I couldn’t. The way he treated me was unforgivable, even if I had stayed in Sydney he made certain that I could never look at him with affection again. Yes, I left because I was heartbroken; Nick ruined us and showed me the worst side of him. Perhaps back then his family believed his story that I cheated on him which is why they didn’t bother reaching out to me. I was too afraid to go to them myself. I needed all the support I could get back then and felt abandoned by everyone I thought cared about me, so I left them all behind too. I need to apologise to Nick’s parents for robbing them of these years with their granddaughter. I’m mature enough to now admit I could have handled it differently. I hope they can forgive me.
I’m getting ready to go out for dinner with Henry. My mother and Pat are here to keep an eye on Charlotte for me for a couple of hours, who is currently in the middle of her nightly talk with her father.