“I love you too, Nicholas.”
“Marry me?” She moves backwards looking stunned.
“What?”
“Marry me.”
“Why?” I was not expecting to be asked that question however I admit this may seem sudden to her.
“Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, feeling exactly as I do in this moment”. Her eyes run across my face as a tear slips down her cheek before smiling.
“Okay, yes.” She nods.
“Yes?”
“Yes, yes, yes!”
I attack her mouth with my own and allow us to fall under the water.
Perhaps I had some ulterior motives for bringing us out here today. I want her to remember how good things were between us before I screwed up, remember that day and the love we had, which is still there, I know it is. I can only hope it works in my favour.
We pull up in my parent’s driveway and sit there looking out the windscreen at the house. Charlie fell asleep in her seat but is beginning to stir now that we’ve stopped. I can see the nerves on Alannah’s face and how tightly she’s holding herself together. Her hands are clenched and she’s frowning.
“Don’t be so worried, you’ve seen and spoken to everyone already. It will be fine.”
“I wish I could believe you. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me how horrible and wrong I was.”
“What happened, happened. There’s no use dwelling on it, it won’t change the past and throwing blame around won’t help anyone either. Let’s just concentrate on today and tomorrow.”
“You’re right. It’s just lunch and we’re going home tonight.” My mood plummets on hearing those words.
I climb out of the car while Alannah gets Charlie.
“Come on sweetie, your grandparents and Aunt Mel and waiting for you.”
We walk through the house and kitchen to the back patio where we find everyone. It’s a sunny day and perfect to be outdoors. My mother is the first to stand and walk over to us.
My parents, sister and someone I wasn’t expecting to see are all seated around the large glass table.
“Welcome you two. Come take a seat. Nick, look who’s here.”
My friend Flynn turns to face me. His green eyes narrow and scrutinise me before moving to the woman at my side. We haven’t been in the same room together for years. His daughter and wife are seated beside him. “I ran into him yesterday and told him he had to join us today, no excuses. It’s been too long since we all caught up and it would be lovely for Charlotte to have someone to pay with.” I can’t be angry with my mother, she’s only trying to do what’s best by everyone.
Flynn steps over and we share an awkward handshake followed by even more awkward hellos. Turning to Alannah next he hugs her like a long lost friend.
“Flynn. It’s been so long.” She introduces him to Charlotte while he calls his daughter over.
“This is Lizzie, she’s three. I thought you two could become friends and play together today.”
Charlotte clings to Alannah, shy with every pair of eyes on her saying hello. I stay standing close by to observe how they’re all interacting with Alannah and Charlotte. I don’t want her being made to feel uncomfortable otherwise I may never get her to fly out here again.
A few minutes later Charlotte and Lizzie have run off together to play on the swings my parents have set up as if he they have been friends for years. I follow a few steps behind to keep an eye on them leaving the adults to their conversation.
My dad eventually fires up the grill for our BBQ lunch which I help him with in order to keep out of the way. I would rather the attention not be on me. Everybody is being overly polite that it’s not normal, like they’re afraid to say the wrong thing. Besides that, I think it’s going well even if a little awkward with a few moments of silence around the table as we eat. Thank God for the kids keeping everyone entertained.
I pick up on the not so happy looks coming my way from Flynn throughout our meal. It’s difficult not to. I know I’ve been a shitty friend as well as son, brother, and fiancé.
After lunch my dad, Flynn and I play chase with the girls while my mother and sister clean up. I’m not concentrating on Lizzie and she comes charging for me, pushing me with her little hands on my legs from behind propelling me forward onto my hands and knees in the dirt. The girls are in hysterics and I see her run back on her little legs to her father giving him a high five. Dickhead.
I go inside to use the bathroom and wash up only to run into Flynn in the hallway on my way back out.
“Hey, Flynn, thanks for coming today, the girls are having fun playing together.”
“Whatever.” He scoffs “I didn’t do it for you I did it for your mother and for Alannah to have a friendly face around.”
“I get it, Flynn, you’re angry at me and you hate me, I haven’t been around or there for you. But you used to spend more time here than at your own house. Can we try to patch our friendship and move on? I want my friend back.”
“It’s so simple and easy for you isn’t it. Whatever the great Nicholas Moore wants, gets.” He has been giving me attitude all day and his anger seems to have reached breaking point.
“Okay. Say what it is you want to say to me. Go ahead, don’t hold back.” Maybe once he lets it all out he’ll feel better and I’ll feel like shit but what else is new lately.
“You want to hear it all bro?” That last word dipped in sarcasm.
“Yes I do.” I cross my arms across my chest in anticipation.
“Fine. As your best friend I thought you would confide in me about why you guys broke up and Alannah skipped town, yet you didn’t and that hurt. I was left to wonder what you could have possibly done that was so bad for her wanting to leave. All sorts of scenarios were running through my head and none I could believe you capable of but the truth was much worse.
“Do you remember me coming to you about a month after? You were drunk and refused to listen to me you even forbade me from ever mentioning her to you ever again, you called her a whore. You even had the nerve to ask me if I was who she was cheating on you with. Your sorry ass doesn’t deserve her.”
“I’m sorry, Flynn, I don’t know what else to say. I was wrong and lashing out.” I truly do not recall that and yes I most likely was drunk.
“The day my own daughter was born and I held her in my arms, it was love at first sight. You missed that with your own. I called to tell you Kaylee gave birth. I was going to ask you to be her godfather but you were in London and hung up on me. You pushed me and everyone away. You gave up on years of friendship. That’s when I gave up.” He points his finger at me. “I tried to talk to you but you are a selfish asshole and I don’t think you can truly change. How long before you break either one of their hearts again?”
“If I haven’t said it before I’m glad you were there for me, even if I was too dumb and blind to see it. You were like the brother I never had. I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you, Nick. Don’t give me your bullshit gratitude.”
“Why do you assume it’s bullshit?”
“Because you really don’t give a shit. Forget the situation with Alannah for a moment. I asked you to be best man at my wedding, yet you could barely stay through the reception before taking off after your speech. I’m sorry you fucked up your life but that was the happiest day of mine until Lizzie came along. You couldn’t even stay to share it with me. You’ve hardly spent any time with us. When was the last time you acted like a brother?