Not reaching for my phone was more of a struggle than I thought it would be. I turned over and got out of bed. My bones cracked and my lower back ached a little when I stood. I groaned inwardly and stretched my arms above my head. I took a long shower, then poured out the first nine pills of the day, and his message was still there.
I guess I wasn't hallucinating after all.
I stared at the screen trying to think of the right response. Butterflies took flight in my stomach knowing I'd be seeing him again.
Biting my lip, I finally texted back.
How about tonight? My place?
He responded immediately. He'd been waiting. I smiled, taking satisfaction in that.
Coach: I will be there at 8.
Coach: See you later.
I checked my watch.
It was 7:57 and I was edgy with impatience. Kova would be here any minute.
I shook my fingers out. My nerves climbed as the clock ticked by. I'd dropped Dad and Sophia off at the airport earlier. We’d said our goodbyes, and I drove back to my condo, sweating to death from anxiety that I was going to see Kova. Would he still be that Kova? Would I still be Ria to him?
I had kept busy with the last of the boxes I had left to pack, then took a quick shower since I'd gotten so clammy after the drive home from the airport. I’d dressed and even added a touch of mascara to my lashes and a plum tint to my cheeks. The blush helped offset the dusting of freckles on the bridge of my nose.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I'd been so parched lately, but that was due to not getting the daily ounces of water I needed since I was sleeping twenty hours a day. I'd have to start counting my meals and fluids again just to make sure I was getting the proper nutrients. Uncapping the bottle, my hand shook a little as I brought it to my mouth. I took a long pull then recapped it. Kova was going—
Knock. Knock. Knock.
My eyes widened as heat instantly prickled down my spine.
My heart froze.
I stared at the door for another long second then walked around the kitchen counter, nervous to answer it. While I had no idea which version of Kova stood on the other side of the door, I was excited and couldn’t rub the smile off my face. I brushed a lock of hair behind my ear before I reached for the knob. Inhaling a deep pull of air, my heart was pulsating in my throat as the door opened and our eyes met.
He was still as handsome as ever.
I wasn't going to hide how I felt toward him. Not at this point. He could see through my gentle gaze and soft smile. I was looking at him with a love no one would ever stand a chance against. Kova was my everything and he'd never doubt it.
Sophia was right. I was emotional over my decision.
It'd been almost one full month since I'd last seen Kova. I didn't love him any less. He was similar to the ruined man who had left me behind in his hotel room, only he wasn't. Something was different about him. He looked ragged and worn down, but there was a peaceful aura around him in the midst of my chaos that soothed me. I was drawn to it.
All these feelings hit me at once as my eyes shifted back and forth between his.
The stupid man that I loved so much was looking at me with a stare I hadn't felt the weight of in so long. The plea in his gaze made me want to do anything for him again. He blinked and the struggle was there. He was dying inside without me, like I was without him. Kova was trying so hard to do what was right. The problem with that was he forgot about himself and what he wanted too.
I pushed the door back and welcomed him in.
I had to break the craving I got when Kova looked at me. I was all the things he needed from someone to give him, and I liked that I was. It made me feel good about myself because I grew stronger when he did. He was an addiction that I would always chase first.
"Adrianna," he said, and I felt my cheeks blush.
I locked the door, then slowly dragged my eyes up to his. "Hey."
"It is good to see you. I have missed you." Kova raked his eyes down the length of my body. "You look good."
"Likewise."
My ears were warm. I slipped my hands into the back pockets of my shorts and rocked on my toes and heels. I was nervous to take the step toward him even though that stupid organ in my chest was begging me to.
"How did you know I was here? When we were in Greece, I told you I was leaving."
Kova's response was a subtle curve to one corner of his lips. I didn't bother pushing the question. He had known I was here, he just took his precious time.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, changing the subject. I gestured toward the chairs at the breakfast counter. He raised a brow. I had boxes sporadically placed around my condo. "I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about too."
Kova took a seat and angled his body toward me. I caught a drift of his cologne and faltered in my step. Desire prickled down my arms and I blinked. I exhaled a breath. My palms were clammy, I was restless for his touch. My chest rose and fell so quickly as a flood of emotions came roaring back into my heart. This was going to be much harder than I’d thought.
Just as I was about to sit next to him, Kova reached out and hooked a finger around my belt loop. With a tug, he spread his legs and pulled me to him. I inhaled a gasp. My hands came flying up and pushed against his chest when our eyes met. The connection was automatic for me. My fingers curled around his shirt and I felt the pull. I leaned into him, needing to close the distance.
Hugging me with his legs, I was just inches from Kova and eye level with him. My lips parted as I peered through my lashes at him. His stubble was much thicker than he usually wore it, and there were faint purple circles under his eyes that I hadn't noticed at first. The tips of my fingers brushed across his collarbone. I did it again, and Kova's palms warmed against my back, pulling me toward him. His touch scorched my skin, flames of desire coaxing me to let nature take its course. The back of my hand grazed his facial hair.
Our lips were seconds away from meeting. "Malysh," he whispered.
I pulled back and frowned at him. The curtain lifted, the smoke cleared, and I blinked. That was why I was in this predicament in the first place. He called my name and I came running. Over the past month, I was forced to reassess a lot of the choices I'd made. I felt different inside now. My views had shifted.
I took a small step back, but not so that we had to stop touching. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
His head dipped to the side and he peered up at me with alluring eyes. "I spoke with an attorney on what the best course of action was for my marriage. I filed for divorce."
I blinked. Wow. Not what I’d expected.
"I don't understand," I said, my throat a little dry.
"I told Katja I no longer cared what she had on me. I was running worried and she thrived off that. When I showed her I did not care about her threats and actually filed, it was not a thrill to her anymore. I have a long way to go, but the divorce process has been started."
His brows knitted toward each other when I didn't respond. Kova had already told me he was filing for divorce because Katja had gotten pregnant by another man. It was his way out for all the blackmail she had on him. It wasn't for us, though. "I told you before Frank found us that I was going to," Kova added when I'd remained silent.