"You are leaving me," he stated.
My lips puckered and tears blurred my vision. The creases between Kova's brows deepened with each second I didn't respond.
"I'm leaving us."
Kova shook his head. His gaze bore into mine and it twisted my stomach. This was a total blow to his gut and it showed.
"What does us mean? Define it, Adrianna."
My shoulders fell. "Why are you bothered by this? It's what you wanted, isn't it? The time you so badly needed?"
He pulled my lips closer to his. "Not if there was a chance I could not ever see you again," he responded immediately.
My nostrils flared. "While you were making decisions that worked for you, I made a decision for myself. The time you needed away from me was enough time for me to reevaluate my life."
A breath hitched in my throat. The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them. I was finally understanding why people lied to their loved ones. Sometimes the truth hurt more.
Tormented eyes regarded me.
Shaking my head with regret, I said quietly, "Times up, Kova."
He didn't hesitate.
Kova pressed his lips to mine in a no-holds-barred kiss. He inhaled me deep and drew me into him like I was the air he breathed.
Like he didn't want to let go.
Fifty
Kova’s fingers pressed into my waist, and I clenched his shirt in my fist. I kissed him back without reservation.
Our lips fused together too perfectly, the stars only ever aligning for us when our bodies did. It wasn't fair, it was a cruel existence that tortured our emotions, but it was how we communicated.
Kova's grip on me tightened. I arched into him with a small gasp as his tongue delved into my mouth. A moan vibrated in the back of my throat causing Kova to escalate his assault on my mouth. I kissed him back with just as much vigor, arching my hips against his. Kova noticed and responded with a skilled stroke that made my toes curl. I was getting lost in the man who was my everything and that I was inevitably walking away from. He was my awakening and my reckoning.
Breaking the kiss, I whispered, "I'm sorry."
"You are just going to give up on us? Just like that?" His grip tightened like he was afraid of my answer.
My jaw trembled at the defensive tone in his voice. "I'm not giving up on the idea of us, but I am letting go of us right now."
"No," he whispered sharply and shook his head. "I know what that means. Please," he begged, "do not do this. Whatever you want, it is yours. Tell me and I will honor it."
Tears trickled over my pressed lips and down my chin. His gaze was a kaleidoscope of emotions. It hurt to see him in pain like this, to know that for once it was me doing the hurting.
His eyes were glossy with tears. This was the second time I'd seen an emotion this powerful on Kova. It rattled me. The last time this happened, he'd found out I was pregnant.
"It's too late," I said, my decision final.
Without saying another word, Kova slammed his mouth to mine. He savagely kissed me like his life depended on it. His hands were all over my body, the warmth creating a carnal glow throughout me. I jerked forward to kiss him back and bite his lip. He touched every inch of me he could. The desperation in his touch was what took me by surprise and revived the flame I'd gone breathless to blow out. His tongue plunged into my mouth and wrapped around mine in a sweep of untamed passion. His kiss was a feeling, an erratic pulse. Kova's hand captured mine. He squeezed my fingers, pressing our joined hands against his heart where the letter A would be for the rest of his life.
"Fuck everything. I am going to sell the gym and come with you. Where you go, I go. It is us, Adrianna. I would rather fight with you every day than risk never being with you again."
I gasped, shock ricocheting through me. Burning stones were tossing around in my stomach. Kova was going to give up what he loved. Had I been wrong about how he felt about us all along? My heart clenched at the thought.
No, I wouldn't go there. I wasn't going to backtrack because he said something I wanted to hear.
"You can't do that," I said. "You can't, Kova. I won't allow it. You love that gym."
He pressed his lips to mine. "I love you more, and if that is what it takes, then so be it. I do not care if you tell me every hour that I am being a dickhead, or that I am terrible at expressing myself, or that this was a mistake. As long as we are together, then say all you want. I know where your heart lies for me. But if it will chance ever being with you again? No. Absolutely not."
He kissed me again until I was breathless. I allowed it by pressing the back of his head so his lips crushed mine. Desperate lips and painstakingly slow hands showed that what we had was real. I never wanted to let go of him. What I wanted, now, was to change my mind.
My breathing labored to wheezing and that worried me, but not enough to stop. And that was my biggest flaw right there that could eventually cause me my life—I stopped thinking about me when I was with him.
This feeling, though, this connection, the chemistry driving us together, it was once in a lifetime and why I allowed it to devour me.
"You're just making it harder," I said, breaking the kiss, and Kova groaned.
Flattening my hand, I pressed on his chest to push him back to put space between us, only I fisted his shirt and tugged him to me.
"Fuck," I whispered under my breath and dropped my head on the curve of his shoulder. I couldn't let go, damn it. I was scared to, because the truth was, I didn't want to. I honestly didn't want to let him go.
Taking my jaw into his hand, Kova tipped it back until I was forced to look at him. His thumb pressed under the center of my chin and his palm cupped my throat. The gesture was tender but his touch longed for love. Kova stared into my eyes. He fought to steady the tremble in his hand, but I felt it.
He exhaled, and like always, I inhaled.
Then Kova gave me a soul-searing kiss that almost made me change my mind. His lips suctioned over mine and he breathed me into him like I was his last dying breath. His kiss evoked the unusual love we had for each other, and I loved that it did. It made it that more ours and ours alone.
"Do you not see it yet, Malysh?" His eyes were frantic. "I bleed my emotion silently, and you express yours with hunger. It is a give and a take, a perfect balance, which makes us right for each other. We need each other."
Just not right now, I thought as more tears surfaced. He'd only changed his mind because I set the ultimatum.
Kova placed me on my feet and turned away. I watched as his hands came up to the back of his head and he laced his fingers together. Frustration bloomed a shade of red under his white knuckles.
He turned around and I almost lost my breath. Konstantin Kournakova was a beautiful tragedy I'd never forget.
"I am going to accept the offer I got for World Cup from Danilo. He can have it all," he said with determination. "I will talk to my attorney about rushing the divorce, and I will give Katja whatever she wants to be away from her. You want to say goodbye forever? No, that is not happening. It is a done deal, the gym will be sold. I had already started the preparations. I will just move it along quicker." Kova paused, then caught me by surprise. "I am coming with you."