It was the day he came to my hotel room after I had to attend and watch the meet he wouldn't allow me to compete in. He'd pulled me onto his lap after and asked what I'd learned. I'd resented him leading up to that day until understanding had dawned on me. His motives were genuine, the outcome constructive, but the way he delivered them was usually questionable. It was a day I would never forget. I thought it was when I really started to feel something for Kova.
It was also when he’d said we were a team, exhaling and inhaling together. I was his weakness and he was my strength. We inspired each other, and we pushed each other to be better people than the day before. He was the beast beneath my beauty, pushing me, he'd said.
It was all true, and that's what broke me down.
Tears filled my eyes. The longer I stared at the picture, the more I longed to feel safe in Kova's arms again.
Pressing down on the image, I saved it as my wallpaper.
Fifty-Two
I startled awake and sat upright, listening.
I thought I heard a bang.
Blinking my blurry eyes, I glanced around and yawned. I must've fallen asleep on the couch. I spotted my cell phone on the floor and realized that was the sound that woke me. I picked it up and checked the time. It was close to midnight. I tucked it into my stomach then curled onto my side. That space in between just falling asleep and really sleeping was—
Knock, knock, knock.
I froze, my hand clenching my cell phone tighter. My body instantly warmed. Staring at the front door, I knew who stood on the other side without having to guess. I breathed and felt goose bumps pebble my skin.
There was a small part of me that secretly hoped he'd show.
I placed my phone down and stood on unsteady legs. I crossed the carpet and reached for the knob. I stilled for a moment. My heart was pounding in my throat. I didn't have to open the door. I could pretend I was asleep. It would be the right thing to do, and then I wouldn't feel guilty about lying to people about him. He knocked again, this time a little heavier.
My heart was racing.
I swallowed thickly and asked myself what I wanted.
Without a second thought, I reached for the lock and unbolted it.
Holding my breath, I pulled the door open and found Kova leaning against the frame. Both of his elbows were pressed against the sides to hold him up and his legs were crossed at his ankles. His head hung miserably between his shoulders and he was staring at the floor.
I didn't have to say anything, and neither did he.
My stomach was a knotted mess seeing him like this.
I felt his despair coming from a mile away. I was sure he felt my sorrow when I was looking at our pictures earlier and reminiscing. My fingers twitched. I knew if I took one more step it would change the course of the night for us. The knots in my stomach were growing. I could be strong in my personal pursuit, but I could also be human and allow us one more night. Kova came to me. He was leaving the choice up to me.
I reached for him.
Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his lower back and hugged him. His elbows fell and he engulfed me with his body. I pressed the side of my face to Kova's chest and closed my eyes. I heard his heart beating rapidly and tasted his bitter anguish on my tongue. Stepping closer, my arms tightened around him.
Kova rested his cheek on the top of my head and hugged me with a passion that pushed down my walls. I inhaled and felt his heat spread through me.
Home.
This was home for us.
"I wish I did not love you the way I do, Adrianna," he whispered. "I wish I was a stronger man."
Tears sprung to my eyes and I clenched them tight. His tone almost brought me to my knees. Kova was gutted. There was a rawness in his voice that sounded like he'd been crying all night. I knew exactly what he meant, though. We had no right to love the way we did.
I lifted my head from his chest to finally see his face. My stomach twisted as our eyes met.
"You're the strongest man I know."
His eyes were rimmed a pale pink. Kova was a robust man but the weakness in his indecisive gaze left me feeling for him. I had the notion that he was ashamed he was here, but not embarrassed. It was an inkling in my gut, but I'd feel the same way if it were me.
Rising up on my tiptoes, I ran the pad of my thumb over his lower lip and tugged it to the side. I watched it plop back and did it again, feeling hungry for his lips on mine.
My other hand cupped the side of his jaw and I brought his mouth toward me. My body arched perfectly along his. Kova held me closer. Need surged through me and I pulled in a deep breath. Just before I pressed our lips together, I whispered, "Let’s finish what we started."
Our lips met. The words burned my throat and my heart sank with reality.
This would be our last night together and I realized how much I wanted this for me, for him, for us. But I also realized how deeply it would hurt in the end.
The kiss deepened and I held my breath, my heart racing with desire. Kova nodded without separating us and I almost fainted with excitement. I couldn't hold back and plunged my tongue into his warm mouth. Kova met me needy stroke for hungry stroke. His silky tongue was the most illicit.
Our bodies aligned and he tightened his arms around me. This kiss wasn't a painfully hard one, it didn't fill me with anger or sadness. It was a kiss that longed for more days watching the sunsets together.
It was a kiss that was supposed to be felt forever. And boy, did I feel it in my chest.
My back arched and I lifted a leg to hook it around Kova's leg for more stability. He got the hint and hoisted me up instead. My legs wrapped around his waist and I gripped him between me. I felt so tiny, protected, and loved in his arms.
"Come inside and lock the door," I said quickly before my lips were back on his. "Don’t forget the chain," I added.
I knew where this was going, and so did he.
There wouldn't be any talking, just breathless pants and naked bodies making sweet harmony together between damp sheets.
And I was okay with that. I needed it, he needed it. I was impatient for him and squeezed my thighs around him. The only time we were ourselves and open with each other was when he was deep inside of me and I was at his mercy. It was carnal and it was glorious. I loved what our bodies did when no one was looking.
Kova walked inside and kicked the door behind him then turned to secure it before he carried us away to my bedroom. Our lips didn't separate and his tongue never stopped caressing mine as he held me with one arm under my ass and the other hand tangled in my hair.
He didn't bother to flip on the light, we didn’t need it, I'd accidentally left the bathroom light on earlier and it provided a soft glow in the bedroom. He brought us to my bed and held me closely as he leaned over and laid me down in the center. He covered me with his weight and twisted his tongue around mine. We moaned in harmony at the feel of our bodies pressed together. I ground my hips erotically against his, not holding back tonight. Kova reciprocated, and he let out a hearty groan when I rubbed my pussy down his thigh. I was already so wet for him.
Only Kova could intoxicate me with a kiss.
His elbows boxed me in. My hands gripped his backside with need. I pressed my fingers into him and felt him contract under my touch. The only sound in the room was that of our lips. Kova kissed me with a sensuality that I was sure was only seen in movies. We had a full-blown hot and heavy make out session that was probably some of the best foreplay we'd ever had while he still had his hat on backwards and we were both fully clothed.