“Regardless of how you view yourself, Amell, you’re an amazing guy with a heart of gold. From caring for your brothers to your devotion to my family. Be proud of where you came from and the man you are now. And the man I see is handsome and hella fine.”
Seeing that smirk turn into a full smile, pearly whites and all, I think every organ in my body did a little dance. And we shared a laugh together that sounded like the opening of a Luther Vandross song.
He’s so perfect.
“Oh, I forgot strong, loyal, and honorable. Everything that a man should be and...”
“Bye, Krishna.” Is he…is he…
Sweet mother of all the Greek gods he kissed me. My eyes, I thought those two-eyed buggers were playing tricks on me when his head descended down. Feeling the coolness and softness of his lips on the corner of my mouth, it was real and this time I was awake.
Stumbling backwards, only making him laugh even more, I blew him a kiss.
“Bye boo. Come on, David.” Poor David. I hadn’t even acknowledged him.
I practically skipped down the terminal and didn’t even pick a fight with the flight attendant when she skipped me by accident when it was time to hand out the snacks. In a short amount of time, my life had been made. I came wanting the nurturing of my family and I left with determination.
I’m going to marry that man.
Amell
Life had no love for me. It treated me like an unwanted child. Two weeks since O’Nesha’s funeral and I had yet to end Big JD’s life. Daily, I tortured the man. The more my grief grew the more sadistic things I did to him. If I wasn’t in the warehouse with him, I kept little JD close by. Legally I had no rights to the little boy who had become my own. Mrs. Perkins accepted the peace I gave her by keeping him with me most of the time but when she went to missing Nesha hard she called for him and I had no choice but to drop him off. Though her and Nesha’s relationship was fairly new, probably about six years, they loved each other as they should.
“Amell, look. I’m doing it.” JD pointed to the kite he flew while we sat at Sunland Park. He cried when his great grandmother told him that his mother went on to be with God. He cried the day of her funeral. Since then he smiled with a joy that I tried to keep going. His tears had everything to do with wanting his mother and not the realization that she would never be back.
I buried them side by side. O’Nesha and Odom. When the funeral home asked me if I wanted to purchase the plot next to her, I refused. If I had to bury JD before my time, nah, that wasn’t happening.
“He’s such a sweet boy, Amell.” Noelani sat next to me on the bench with an envelope I’d been too afraid of opening. The way my mental was set up only one outcome would come from me if what I hoped not to be turned out opposite.
I wondered what my brothers thought about my relationship with JD, especially Atlas. He sought my attention more than anyone and both of them only saw glimpses of JD. When Clover watched him for me, she kept him in the main house with her. Separate from my world. I tainted my brothers already and I refused to do the same with another innocent child.
“What do those papers say?” I listened to a juvenile. A twenty-one-year-old young woman who advised me to give my mother a chance. What did I have to lose?
Nothing at all and for the last two weeks I met with her every other day. She talked about her life, what she had been doing all these years. So many holes in her stories and the nagging feeling in my gut stayed rooted. Noelani helped me out when I asked her to do a full investigation on my mother. Maybe the grief of losing Nesha made me soften up to the idea of her reconnecting with her sons, I don’t know.
I think all of this stemmed from the fear I had of Mrs. Perkins possibly taking JD away from me for good. What if she up and moved? Yes, I could offer to pay her to stay but what if that wasn’t enough? What if she said I couldn’t be around him anymore and I was a bad influence? That I failed to protect two people already, one that she didn’t even get the chance to meet. I stole that chance from her. She’d never meet Odom because of me. If she wanted to take JD I probably wouldn’t fight her on that reason alone.
Mrs. Perkins’ side of the family wanted to build a relationship with JD and they had every right to, but I was hesitant to let anyone close to him. The closest person I allowed around him for long periods of time was his Uncle Roosevelt, Mrs. Perkins’ brother from Ocala. JD loves to fish and so does his uncle. Whenever he comes to town, he asks to take JD. The first few times they went I tagged along. At the end of the day Roosevelt was a stranger to us. It wasn’t until I saw JD comfortable with him that I let them go by themselves.
“I triple checked. All copies and records of her past and present are there.”
“Thank you. Preciate you.”
“You never have to thank me.” Brushing off her clothes she leaned down and kissed my temple. “Things will get better.” JD saw her leaving and ran over to give her a hug. “I forgot. There will be a delivery coming to your house tomorrow. Consider it a big housewarming gift for that man-made lake you built.”
While the developers were still in the process of finishing the blueprint for my house I’m having built on the land, I went ahead and had a large fifty-six-foot pond made where I would keep exotic fish. Inside of that pond was a lake built for my piranhas. I always wanted a piranha lake. The animals fascinated me.
Picking up the folder I decided to face my fears. “JD, let’s take a ride.” “Yes, sir.”
Keeping JD with me while I met with my mother was for her benefit more than it was mine. Though I killed a man with him in a car not even twelve feet away, he didn’t see what I did. But with my mother, I’m not sure if I’d be able to control my actions.
“Uncle Amell, can I get a cookie and chocolate milk please?” His wide almond shaped brown eyes gave me a once-over before his small arm extended out and fingers pointed to the display of desserts inside the bakery.
“Yes. Go ahead and tell the lady what you’d like.”
Appeased, he damn near sprinted to the counter and began telling the barista his order. When she gave him the total, he sprinted back over to me with his hand held out. In amusement I gave him a twenty and watched him closely. Though he was only nine years old, his intelligence surpassed his peers. Like I schooled him on more than one occasion he asked his change in singles and counted them out to make sure he had the correct change. We were still working on subtraction and adding but he knew how to count dollar bills.
“Fifteen dollars is your change. Thank you, Amell.”
He found his spot next to me. Closer to my legs with a hand cuffed around my knee. “Sit here and eat your food.” Before she could open her mouth and address him, the daggers I shot her way shut her up. JD was off-limits. Always off limits.
“Thank you for coming, Amell.” I noticed that she started to wear black on the days that we met. Maybe she thought coordinating with my preferred colors of choice would win her some brownie points. I don’t know but it made the nagging feeling grow.
“Take a ride with me. I want to show you something.” Under the table, my hands squeezed into tight fists watching her face light up.
“Sure.”