I owed Krishna a lot for getting JD help. “She told me that she sent you to New York for counseling with them. The part that angers me most is that I never once considered your mental health and what you were going through afterwards.” “I swear I pray for God to send me a woman like Krishna.” He laughed. “I’m sorry for betraying you. I knew about the attorney general. She even introduced us.” He looked nervous sitting across the table. “She was happy, and I wanted her to forget you. I even tried to forget you, I’m sorry for that.”
He had nothing to apologize for. The only person to blame was me. No one would be in their predicaments if it wasn’t for my actions. “It’s cool, JD. There is nothing that you need to apologize for.
“Is that my baby? That’s my baby!” We heard Krishna scream before she made her appearance into the sunroom. “Oh my God. I missed your handsome face so much.” She smothered his face with kisses.
JD towered over her but that meant nothing to Krishna who stood on the balls of her feet. “Really, Krishna.” He laughed. “Come on, man. I’m trying to get the receptionist number before I leave here, and I can’t do that if your lipstick is all over my face.”
The view before me, I wondered if this might have been what Krishna looked like showering our child affection when they reached JD’s age. I prayed God spared us enough mercy and grace to fill her womb with my seeds.
“Haven’t I told you that you can’t date until you’re fifty years old?” She pinched his cheek making him groan. “You’ll forever be my baby, Jeremy.”
“When are you guys leaving?” “Tomorrow.” Krishna announced with a wide smile, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “It’s only been six months. I have five more to go.” I was confused. Really confused.
“I know. The decision on the length of time we stayed has always been my choice. A good friend of mine made that possible.” Sheepishly she peered up at me. I already knew who the friend she spoke of. I tried not to think of him and her. Tried to focus on the present and where we were now.
“Cool. I’ll travel back with y’all. Andre said I can stay in one of the cabins for the weekend anyway. Wait…where does Cassian and Atlas think you’ve been all this time?”
I sighed heavily. Before finding out that we were leaving in less than twenty-four hours I thought I had time to think over what I wanted to say to them. How I wanted to apologize. Now I had to do what I always taught them…be brutally honest even if it hurt. “Only person I spoke with is Cassian and that was briefly.” I looked over at Krishna hoping she’d shed some light on them since all of this was her big plan.
“They know you’re here. I speak to them once a week and so does Andrea. We’ve been talking. I felt like they deserved to be in the loop.” She breathed calm, eyes pleading with me to not be upset. I had no reason to be upset with her. I really didn’t. As always, she kept me in mind. That’s all that matters.
“Come on. Give me a tour. Show me around. Before I got here, I thought you guys were staying in a psych ward with crazy people but this looks like a lost paradise. And did you see that indoor pool? I passed it coming to the sunroom.” Just like that we fell into the old swing of things.
Krishna
His side of the bed felt lukewarm. He’d been gone for some time now. When he first separated his arms from around my body, I thought he was taking a late-night piss and coming back to me. Sleep found me again in the middle of my waiting. Again, I reached out to feel his side of the bed. Amell hadn’t returned.
The windows and doors facing the river were open. A cool breeze swept through the room. Once I smelled the rain, heard its droplets against the cement patio, I knew where he had gone. With curtains blowing around me I stood there searching for him. It wasn’t long before my eyes made out his large frame in the middle of the river with the rain pouring down on him.
Naked with rain cloaking him like royalty.
Deja vu.
I always loved to be front and center during his deep meditation moments. Loved to see the relaxation of peace on his face. Loved to see his body shutter from whatever message God had passed on. In only my coral nightgown I left the covering of our cabin and ventured out to where he stood. Against my skin the rain felt like a warm shower.
Soothing and comforting.
Behind him I stood. Another full moon and its brightness gave me a clear view of my king. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head in the middle of his back.
“Do you remember what I’ve been holding off on doing?” The deepness of his baritone made me hold on tighter.
“Yes. Baptism.” Amell’s relationship with God, such a beautiful thing to see. Regardless of the evil things he’s done Amell’s love for God never wavered.
“I never felt worthy enough to see it through back then. I’m no longer bound by the chains of condemnation. I held off for so long because I knew the ruthless things, I liked doing weren’t over, but now I’m ready.”
He unlocked my arms from around his chest and brought them in front of him. The rain failed at keeping my eyes closed. Failed at distorting my vision to stop our eyes from colliding under the full moon’s light.
“Will you do me the honor of baptizing me?” He knew how to take a girl’s breath away. “What? Are you sure? We leave in the afternoon and you can ask Bishop Cambridge once we get back.”
“No.” I felt my knees weaken as his mouth descended. God, I hope I don’t drown from his ferocity. First, he kissed the tip of my nose, then my eyes, and, finally, he satisfyingly kissed my mouth. It was a kiss for my tired soul to melt into. “I want you to do it. This is my token of displaying my devotion of love toward you and God, and as spiritual as I can get. We took vows before God and I want us to fully submit to the will of God together. I baptize you and you baptize me and together we are born again.” Together, the rain and I cried.
As a little girl and dreaming of my prince charming, I never thought in a million years that I’d meet the man destined to be my forever at the age of sixteen. I never thought that he’d come in a package of dark and blue clouds. I never thought he’d surpass my father’s characteristics.
Through life as I aged and experienced different things I knew that I deserved Amell just as much as he deserved me. We loved. We fought. We mourned. We created. We were meant to be. We prayed.
I held his heartbeat in my hands. All the while he was gone, I was on my knees praying for him. Would always pray for him.
“God says that a husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loves the church.” Releasing me he knelt down to his knees until the water came to the center of his chest. His onyx eyes glowed like African black diamonds. I never in my life seen such a specimen so glorious. “Not only are we immersing ourselves in the water and raising up clean in purification of God, but for our marriage my act of obedience is my symbolism to walk in newness with God and newness in our union.”
He reached for my hands that hadn’t stopped trembling. “I know that in order to see the kingdom of heaven I must repent and be born again. I also know that in order for our union to work I must leave my old man, my old self, and become one flesh with you. Cleave to you. Baptize me, Krishna.” My stomach quaked. My heart pounded with great pleasure.