My eyes began to burn, and my chest tightened. I only saw them, and they were seconds away from breaking me down. “Where are the kids?” The easy part was over. Seeing them, I knew I was bound to lose my mind.
“Upstairs playing Fortnite. Ari’s at your house with AJ feeding your children. She goes over there twice a day to feed them and the dogs.” Young pointed out.
“You let her feed the dogs and the fish?” I grilled. My heart raced thinking of the possibility of her tripping and falling into the pond, or one of the dogs biting her.
“Yes, yes I do. Ari is a lot smarter than you think, Amell. She created some long pole gadget that she uses to stand back and drop the food in the pond. AJ and Cashton usually feed the dogs. They aren’t babies anymore.” Atlas could laugh all he wanted to. All of them would forever be my babies, mainly Ari.
“I’m not staying out here to watch that fight.” Cassian nodded his head to Noelani and Krishna in a heavy stare off. Neither of them said a thing. Both standing there with their arms folded shooting darts of fire with their eyes.
“Me either. I’m going down to my house to surprise Ari and AJ. I’ll be back. Don’t tell the others I’m back yet.” I glanced one more time at the feuding women and shook my head. I had my own battles to fight. Krishna could handle Noelani on her own.
I dragged my feet during the two mile walk from Atlas’s house to mine. He had golf carts available for me to drive but I needed the time to prepare seeing my little Ari. Kids handled things differently. Processed them in completely different ways than adults. Who was to say she would forgive me? Hated me? Never wanted to speak to me again. Ari might be a child but I’d never force her to be around me if that wasn’t something she wanted.
“That’s not how to do it, AJ. How many times do I have to tell you that the dogs eat the raw beef and the fish eat the raw chickens? Please pay attention to my instructions or go back to the house. I’m well capable of doing this by myself.” She pushed her glasses up her nose. I tried not to have favorites when it came to my nieces, but Ari caused my heart to beat a whole different pattern since the day her father placed her tiny body in the palm of my hand. She gave me a special type of love and brightness.
“Look, Ari. I’m listening. You feed the fish and I’ll feed the dogs. Teamwork so we can get out of here.” AJ had grown so much. The boy damn near passed his father in height and he was only fourteen years old.
I continued to watch them from behind the large mango trees in my backyard. Several of the security guards that walked along the premises took one glance my way and kept it moving.
Once they finished feeding my animals, they went inside my house to wash their hands. Right when Ari went humming down the hall towards my office I stepped out from the shadows of my kitchen and startled AJ.
“Shit.” His eyes bugged wide as he dropped the carton of juice he was drinking out of his hand. “Unc…” “Shh” I covered his mouth. “I want to surprise Ari.”
He nodded and I uncovered his mouth. “I missed you.” He was a lot stronger than he appeared. He almost tackled me to the floor throwing all of his body weight on me. “Are you here for good? Are you staying?”
I rubbed the ache in my chest seeing the Cuban link chain I gave him hanging from his neck. “Yeah, kid. I’m not going anywhere.” Can’t believe I thought I deserved to be in prison than out here with my family. “I’m going to surprise Ari and then we can do whatever y’all want to do.”
“She’s going to cry.” He looked down the hall. “When we moved back a few months ago she started coming by here to feed your fish and dogs. Even begs mom to buy you groceries when she shops because she wants you to have food in your fridge for whenever you came back. I’ll wait for y’all outside.”
The sound of my heartbeat drummed loudly in my ears the closer I got to my office. The closer I got the clearer her singing became. She sang our song, Isn’t she lovely by Stevie Wonder. The song I’ve been singing to her since she came into this world.
Ari sat in my Lay-Z Boy recliner toying with her chain, swinging her legs, and reading. Her hair in two long ponytails with red ribbons. My pretty little girl. I started humming, matching her rhythm to see if she’d catch on. A smile covered her face.
“AJ, you almost sound like Uncle Amell.”
“AJ wishes that he had my pitch.” I stepped into my office and watched her head snap up from her book. “Uncle Amell,” she gasped, placing the book on the arm of the chair.
I crouched down to her height with my arms open. Tears had already begun to fall behind her flower frames. “Can I have a hug, baby girl?”
Her Chuck Taylor covered feet moved with haste. She jumped into my arms and sobbed in my chest. Like I knew, she was going to be the one to break me down. It was a little hard to breathe with her arms locked in around my neck, but I’d suffer for her. “I missed you so much.” She cried harder. “Please don’t ever leave us, Uncle Amell.”
“I promise I’m not going anywhere, Ari. I promise.”
Krishna
“Carrie White. Carrie White? Really, Krishna?”
When I thought of an alias to give Miguel the name came from watching the classic Carrie movies on the flight over. Sheep’s in wolf clothing befriended Carrie. Their intentions were never to become real friends. Plans to ridicule and mock her. Embarrassed her under false pretenses. Once the masks were taken off and the real wolves were exposed, Carrie struck back like a bad bitch and slaughtered everyone.
So, I channeled her. Let her become my alter ego. “Yes. I gave Miguel that name three years ago and he never suspected a thing.”
After not speaking for three years this is how our first conversation started. “How do you want to do this, Krishna? Fight like some ghetto hood rats. Cuss each other out and hop on tables like we’re on Basketball Wives or talk like two mature reasonable adults.” After three kids and surviving being married to Cassian, Noelani looked good.
Hair full and bouncy. Hips spread and ass fat. My girl looked good. She looked genuinely happy. “Funny how you're begging me to talk but when I asked for the truth all you gave me were lies. I thought we were friends, Noelani. I don’t care nothing about Amell sending you my way in the beginning to keep an eye on me. We developed a relationship. We built trust. I confided in you. Was all that just a damn game to you?”
It felt like we were lovers arguing in the middle of the driveway. Maybe that’s the passion of our friendship being reflected. Next to the pain Amell caused me, Noelani came in second. She witnessed me losing my mind. Held me while I cried until I made myself sick. Listened to me argue with his voicemail. She witnessed everything only to sit silent knowing the whole truth.
“I’m sorry for not communicating when I should’ve. I apologize but you have to understand my mind frame at the time.” She took one step towards me and I took one step back. “He asked me not to tell you and I honored that because my loyalty to him outweighed our friendship. Are you happy now? That’s what you want to hear.”
What a bitch.
On the flight back home every scenario ran through my mind on how I wanted to handle me and Noelani’s issues. Tried placing myself in her shoes. Thinking what would I have done if Cassian had asked the same of me. The answer tell her. I know how I suffered. I lived through it.