“Thank you,” Casper said instead of telling Hawk he was spinning further and further away from reality and perilously close to forgetting how utterly impossible all of this was.
“Don’t thank me yet,” Hawk rumbled as he nipped at Casper’s lips. They swayed to the music and Casper realized they were dancing. We’re dancing! They all sighed and stilled and Casper was grateful when he was lifted so Hawk could carry him around the counter. He set Casper on his stool and stole another kiss before Hawk slipped around him and onto the other stool. It took Casper a moment to remember what was supposed to happen next as he blinked at the plate and silverware in front of him. “Do you want me to cut it for you,” Hawk whispered in Casper’s ear and he elbowed him away.
“I’ve managed this long on my own.” He humphed as he picked up the knife and fork. Casper’s fingers twisted clumsily around them and while he’d never be welcomed at a dinner party, he was able to cut a large bite of the veal. It was baked under a red sauce and browned, bubbled cheese and Casper dabbed at his eye with a napkin as he chewed. “Your nonna was a beautiful and good woman,” he insisted and Hawk chuckled as he nodded. Hawk wiped his lips as he swallowed then leaned conspiratorially.
“She was so beautiful, my grandfather almost killed a man and bought her a bakery to win her heart. He wasn’t letting her get away.”
“I don’t blame him,” Casper said. Hawk shook his head and took a sip of his wine.
“I don’t think it was her cooking or baking. They had ten kids.”
“And a bakery?” Casper asked in disbelief. Hawk snorted.
“Nonna was a general. She would have made Patton piss his pants. She put us all to work but it was the best part of my childhood, the years I lived with them.”
“Do you ever go back?”
“Sure. I stop in when I’m in town. My uncle Frank runs the bakery and he makes me carry bags of flour up from the cellar if I show my face.”
“Is that why you can carry me around like I’m a child?” Casper asked and Hawk nodded as he chewed.
“That, and you weigh about as much as my rucksack did. I’m used to carrying everything I need,” he said and his voice trailed off as his eyes held Casper’s.
“Oh... Well...” Casper needed both hands and they shook as he raised his wine glass to his lips and took a large gulp. He tore off a hunk of garlic bread and dragged it through the sauce and moaned. “Fuck, that’s amazing.” The sauce was spicy and there was so much garlic! Casper gave up and leaned so he could kiss Hawk. He licked Hawk’s lips and they were buttery and garlicky and his breath tasted like red wine. “I don’t know what we’re celebrating but it’s my favorite holiday.”
“Mine too,” Hawk said tenderly then went back to his veal. Casper impressed Hawk with his ability to twirl his fork in his spaghetti and the conversation drifted to less unsettling topics. Casper was enjoying the wine and decided to be bold.
“What if I called you Aldous?” He asked and Hawk choked on his wine. He wiped his lips with his napkin and shook his head.
“You can but don’t have any hopes of me getting an erection for the rest of the night. I’m named after my father’s older brother. He died in a boating accident the year I was born and I never liked the way my grandparents wanted me to be like...the vessel of his legacy. And who’s named Aldous anymore? I don’t want anything to do with that side of the family. They’re morbid and the gross kind of rich,” he explained. Casper nodded slowly and completely erased the name from his brain.
“I suppose that makes sense.”
“I’m glad you agree. Ready for dessert?” Hawk asked and Casper gasped and brightened.
“Yes!” He helped Hawk gather their plates and he carefully dumped them into the sink and went to the fridge.
“Don’t look!” Hawk ordered and Casper shut his eye and covered it with his hand. Casper heard a match strike and his heart raced. “Ok. You can look!” Hawk whispered and he was holding a cake when Casper lowered his hand and opened his eye. A single tall candle was lit and there were rainbow sprinkles around the side of the cake.
“Is that...for me?” Casper asked shakily.
“It’s got your name on it.”
Happy Birthday
Casper!
“It does!” Casper laughed and covered his mouth in shock. “But it’s not my birthday,” he whispered and Hawk’s smile was as warm as the candle’s flame.
“Good. I knew there was a slight chance it might be today—like 1/365—but birthday cakes taste just a little bit better when it’s not your birthday and it’s just because. You’ve been really brave and behaved better than I was expecting so I thought I’d surprise you,” Hawk explained as he came around the counter and set the cake in front of Casper. “I asked Reginald but he couldn’t find your birthday,” Hawk said as he sat next to Casper. He shook his head but he couldn’t take his eyes off his cake. The white frosting was piped so beautifully and the letters swooped and swirled elegantly. It was everything a birthday cake should be.
“I’ve never had one,” Casper murmured absently.
“You’ve never had a birthday?”
“No. One day my father told me I was eight. I just add one more to that on the first day of the new year.”
“God, that’s... And how old do you think...” Hawk attempted awkwardly.
“This next year will be my thirtieth.”
“You’re thirty?” Hawk verified but it was thin and Casper’s brow rose as his gaze became severe.
“I dare you to tell me that it matters,” he growled. Hawk bit down on his lips and shook his head.
“Probably not but there’s an entire adult between us—years’ wise—and they’re of drinking age!” He whispered then pulled the cake away when Casper tried to take it from him.
“Don’t ruin my first birthday with this bullshit!” He protested.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Hawk sighed and Casper gave him a satisfied nod.
“Especially since I’ve shaved decades off my life. You’ll outlive me by a long shot,” he predicted but Hawk looked horrified as he held up a hand.
“Stop it. You really don’t know who your mother was or how old you are? Just that you were taken from a train station,” Hawk said and Casper raised a shoulder.
“If that was even true. My father could have made that up as well. He lied about a lot of things and liked to punish me by withholding things I wanted so I...didn’t allow myself to care about that. I asked him once and his answer already sounded like a dead-end or a lie so I let it go. He’d only use her to hurt me if he thought I was interested in finding my mother.”
“I’m so sorry. Maybe we could convince him to tell you now,” Hawk suggested sheepishly and Casper shook his head.
“I guarantee we couldn’t but I don’t want to talk about him anymore. He’s only grown more twisted and spiteful. Don’t ruin my birthday,” he repeated haughtily.
“You’re right. Make a wish and blow out the candle,” Hawk said as he pushed the cake a little closer. Casper clapped his hand over his mouth to hold back an astonished giggle.