“Fuck me Luci, you’re looking fucking hot. Are your mate’s sisters still a no-no?” Someone asks, I don’t recognise the voice though.
“Fuck yes.” Caleb all but growls at him.
“Any of you fuckers say one more thing and I’ll fuck you all up.” God, I bloody love my brother.
“I hear you’re of the market now anyway.” One of them adds. Looking up I see it’s Jimmy and the disappointed look on his face doesn’t escape my notice. All the men in the room look at Jimmy before one of them pipes up.
“Jimmy you’re a bloody gossip, you’re worse than the ladies at the shop!” Deciding honesty is the best policy I admit the honest truth. They don’t need to be privy to my private turmoil so I only relay the basics.
“And yes I’m a married lady now.” All the guy’s eyes pop out of their heads at the same time, I wish I had a camera because this is some funny shit, all of their faces swing to my brother and then swiftly to Jimmy.
“I don’t see a ring on your finger.” Jimmy cockily adds whilst puffing his chest out and before I can reply my dad pipes up.
“There doesn’t need to be a ring Jimmy. I’m her father and I’m telling you she is a taken woman, ring or not, do you understand what I’m saying?” The kitchen at large has gone deathly quiet, I want to correct my dad because to be fair I am officially separated but to be honest it’s not worth having to explain it to these guys.
“Message heard loud and clear Sir.” Jimmy says to my dad and someone begins filling shot glasses with some green shit, no more is said on my marital status.
So it turns out going to town was a huge mistake, I am officially dying. I have never in my life, ever been this sick and hungover before and I didn’t really drink much either. At 1 o’clock my brother had to call a taxi for me because I was trashed.
Ruby wasn’t exactly pleased that she had to come home with me and I felt terrible. I did however tell her several times how sorry I was and how much I loved her.
I think she must be seeing someone because she keeps checking her phone and is being very evasive when I ask her questions. Come to think of it, I never did ask her what went down with her and Jed.
Sunday was a washout for me, I didn’t even make it out of my room, unless you count the times I was praying to the porcelain gods.
I ventured downstairs Sunday evening for a glass of water but my head was spinning so much I had to make my excuses, it was at that precise moment I vowed never to drink ever again.
When I woke up early hours Monday morning it was evident I was not much better and was desperately trying to work out what went wrong. I am going to have to call into work sick, which I really don’t want to do, given that it is a new job but there is no way I can go in when I’m still throwing up.
By midmorning after some more sleep I wake up feeling slightly better, the house is deathly quiet and I make my way downstairs.
I pour myself a glass of water and swallow a few gulps before the familiar excess of saliva forms in my mouth and I know I am going to be sick again, I barely make it into the downstairs toilet, It’s not proper sick, just retching.
After five minutes of this I feel human enough to come out, I reckon I have caught a bug from somewhere, I must have, because this can’t still be from the hangover.
I spend the rest of the day laying on the sofa and as I’m the only one home I get on with some planning for work and decide to make tea for everyone, putting the chicken in the oven I head upstairs for a much needed shower.
When I get to my room I see I have an email from my Beth asking me if I am ok to do training and she has provided me with the date, opening my diary I go about checking If I have anything else scheduled for that date when I see something that causes me to take a few deep breaths.
In initials I see PD, which is my abbreviation for period due, as I am on the pill I have regular as clockwork 28 day cycles that last for five days, this has been the same for a few years so I write them in advance when I am due.
This has me thinking back to my last period and I try in the haze that is my memory to see if I can remember having my period, which I don’t, In fact I don’t think I’ve had my period since before I went to America, what the hell is going on with me?
Well I didn’t sleep one wink during the night, not even one minute as my brain goes into overdrive contemplating the situation. What can all of this mean, something has gone wrong somewhere surely?
I know one thing is for certain, I’m booking myself into the doctors after work today as when I worked it out I haven’t had a period for about eight weeks. I can’t worry about it now though because I need to get through today.
I feel terrible about calling into work sick yesterday but to be honest I still feel queasy today, probably worrying about my woman’s troubles. As It goes my boss was fine about it, I had a pretty light day teaching wise so there was only a couple of lessons to cover, apparently they covered it themselves and didn’t need to get a supply teacher in, so that made me feel a little better.
I have a doctor’s appointment for 4 o’clock so I don’t hang around after work for long. After I do my bus duty I head into my classroom to retrieve my things before making my way there.
I hate sitting in waiting rooms, I forgot that I would have to go through the rigmarole of changing my name here, I especially hate that I know for a fact the receptionist is a gossip so she’ll have a right old gossip fest with this titbit of information.
At five past four the doctor comes out and calls my name, I make my way through to her room, knock on the door before entering and then sit down opposite her. She is looking at me expectantly.
“How can I help you today Lucille? I haven’t seen you for a while.” She asks with instant, understanding eyes. She’s good.
“I’m not really sure what’s happening but I haven’t had a period for about eight weeks.” I cannot maintain eye contact with her so I look at a speckle of dirt on the carpet. She clicks on a few things on her computer before speaking to me, it feels like a lifetime but in reality is only about half a minute.
“You’re on the mini-pill right?” She asks looking for my confirmation.
“Yes and I take that pill every day.” She curls her lip up and lightly shakes her head in humour.
“Is there a chance you could be pregnant?” To be honest I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have that same thought but I really don’t see how.
“I don’t see how I take it every day.”
“You know the pill is only 99% effective, nothing is full proof. Could you do me a urine sample please?” She hands me a little pot and I make my way into the toilet.
After doing my business and washing my hands I head back into her room handing it back to her, she already has a pregnancy test ready and dips it into the pot, at this point I am freaking the fuck out.
“Try not to worry until we know one way or the other Luci.” This is easy for her to say, after what feels like an hour she finally utters those words to me.
“Positive, you’re pregnant Luci. From your calculation I would say between anything from 7-9 weeks along.” She is disposing of everything as I sit there in complete and utter shock not really understanding what she has said.
“I don’t understand I take it daily.” She makes nothing of my little freak out and goes about washing her hands like she hasn’t just dropped a huge bomb on me.